Man

Man Jokes

So a man finds a woman on a train track while he's on his way to a bar, and they had a lot of sex, when he gets to the bar he brags about the different sex positions they used and one of the guys says "oh did you do head" and he responded with no I couldn't find the head

A man was raping a woman and thought the year was 1970 and he exclaimed to the judge later that he was her husband. She got sent to the Asylum for Hysteria.

Wait, what? Was he actually her husband. He was a christian so that actually meant he was AFTER the rape.

Wait, what? the bible doesn't say that.

Actually yes it does and marital rape was legal until 1990.

WAIT WHAT? Thats not funny.

I'll tell ya whats funny, that you think the women have nothing to complain about.

When God made Chinese he said "DON'T LOOK!" and the chinese said "why?" and God replied "You wont want to be fruitful and multiply if you saw where you are putting that thing"

It turned out the Chinese are very obedient to God.

When God made White Man he said "NEVER SHUT YOUR EYES" and the white man said "Why?" and God replied "You need to keep an eye out for the Chinese, one day they will out number you"

It turned out the Chinese are very obedient to God.

Then the white man said "there is a white genocide!"

And the survivors of the holocaust said "all these europeans killed each other so a white genocide is accurate, white killed white"

Then the Chinese said "thank you we take your land now"

And the Jews said "but we are God's chosen people!"

And the Chinese said "yes every time God show up you get bullied! you might want to worship someone else!"

And the Jews said "why are you chinese so lucky, you can't even see, you blind!"

And the chinese said "Jesus say be in the world not of the world, so dont go looky looky at the world then"

It turned out the chinese are very obediant to God.

Did you see that chinese man with no legs? No I'm blind.

Stop ruining my jokes. Isn't that the chinese man with no legs fault? Its not like He Go Ann Hi Weh

In Saudi Arabia, there lived a man named Abdul. Abdul rhymes with Azul, the Spanish word for blue. And he probably be lookin more blue than me

Man: aw man im having a bad day Man's friend:same Man:so why did you have a bad day my brother got hit by the school bus Man's friend: i got fired as a bus driver Man: oh great heavens

A man was about to go into the bar with his dog when he realized the sign said “No pets allowed!” He was about to walk away when another guy walked up with his dog. The 2nd man put on dark shades and said, “Just pretend you're blind!” He walked in with his dog, got a drink, then left. The 1st man did the same thing, but when he walked in, the bartender said, “You know your ‘guide dog’ is a chihuahua, right?” The man said, “They gave me a damn Chihuahua?!”

There was once a grandfather. He had very little hair, and he lived in a forest. On his death bed, he was fully bald. So he told his children, "You see my head? I have no hair. All of my hair has been wiped, and I hope this forest doesnt experience the same. Children, every time a tree is cut in this forest, plant a new one in its place." So for years, and to this day, that forest still stands, each tree being replanted. All because of an old man and his Re-seeding Heirline.

why are all asians so skinny? Because last time there was a fat man a whole population disappeared

A man is consoling his nine year old daughter after she had been sexually assaulted,

"You need to be more careful" he said as he wrapped his arm around her, "this time it was me, next time it could be a total stranger."

Man: how tall is a penguin?

Bartender: about three foot why?

Man: o shit the Bible bashing nuns I fucking hit one

Poor car

*America shoots down balloon* China* You killed a innocent man!! USA* what?! China* yes, he was a famous sumo wrestler.