Man jokes
What do you call getting assaulted by a gay man? Fruit punch.
Worst jokes ever? More like I killed an old man in 2012 in Oklahoma City at that nasty Red Lobster, not the one near the freeway, and hid the body in a creek!
Your hairline is so bad that it turned Wonder Woman into Failure Man.
A man walks into a library and asks for books about paranoia.
The librarian whispers, "They're right behind you!"
Have you ever seen a blind man swim?
Neither has he.
What do you call a movie about an orphan?
The Bat Man.
How to trick a gay man into having sex with a woman?
Take a dump on her vagina!
Man: Why can't an orphan use Verizon?
Kid: Why?
Man: 'Cause they have a family plan.
Kid: Oh, then I need to switch phone services then.
Man: Why?
Kid: I'm an orphan.
Man: *laughs out loud* That's tough!
(You can tell the joke shortened by saying, "Why can't an orphan use Verizon? 'Cause they have a family plan.")
Man: Why can't an orphan use Verizon?
Kid: I don't know why.
Man: Because they have a family plan.
Kid: Well, I need to get another phone service now.
There are 3 men: an American, a French, and an Italian who have to take a trip and take the plane.
The American puts his hand out the window and says: "We are in America, I touched the Statue of Liberty." The French says: "We are in France, I touched the Eiffel Tower." The Italian says: "We are in Italy, I touched the garbage!"
No, Stephen Hawking wasn't the first man to walk on the moon.
Who said, "That's a small step for man, a giant leap for mankind?"
Not Stephen Hawking.
One day I was going home, and 7 married men came to me and said, "You should be proud of your sister." I asked why. They told me it was the best that they ever had, and we got your sister a trophy.
So I went home, my sister said, "Look at my trophy I earned." The trophy said "The Best Blow Jobs." As a bro, I couldn’t be more prouder.
Could never understand why people would say Stephen Hawking is a dead man walking.
Boys eat Frito Bandito, but men eat Guido Bandito.
What’s the worst song to play in front of a vegetable? “James Brown - Get on Up”
What’s the worst song to play in front of a handicapped kid? “Van Halen - Jump”
What's the worst song to play in front of a black man in Minneapolis? “I Can't Breathe - Juice Wrld”
Transgenders! Men in disguise!
Why are Japanese always so skinny?
Cause last time there was a fat man, an entire city disappeared.
What does a man masturbating and a mayo bottle have in common?
They can both squirt out their cum.
What do you call a surprised Chinese man?
Ho Lee Fuk.