I make suicidal jokes because I am a suicidal joke. And now for my closing act at the end of the rope.
Make Jokes
Why do they make glow-in-the-dark condoms?
So gay people can play Star Wars.
If you were a room in my house, Iâd make you the basement.
So I could put kids inside you.
Itâs amazing just how paranoid Hitler was.
In Hitlerâs Germany, it was illegal to make jokes about him or his regime.
Come on! Forbidding Germans from making jokes? Isnât that a bit like forbidding Americans from eating salad?
The doctor said I would make it, but then Spider-Man came in holding a PS5.
We should really stop making jokes about orphans. Their parents will get mad.
God needed an extra two hands to make your fat ass of a mother.
Do you wanna eat makeup, 'cause you're not pretty on the inside?
You're so ugly, when you put makeup on, it makes you look like a clown.
I just overheard this but:
How do you make a party in space?
You planet.
The Yo Mama song to end all yo mama jokes.
If you know what song this is parodying, you get a cookie.
Well, itâs a oooh, yo mama.
Ohhh, Yo Mama.
oh wop oh wop...YO MAMA!
Yo mama so fat, she gotta bathe in Sea World.
Well, itâs a oooh, yo mama.
Ohhhh, YO MAMA!
Oh woo ohhh, YO MAMA!
Yo mama so slow she took 9 months to get the joke.
Your own motheeer makes me giggle.
Her struggling to do taaaasks, see her belly wiggle.
HEY!
Yo mama so fat she on both sides oâthe family.
Yo mama so inbred her own famâly tree
Looks like a spider web anâ yo mama so hairy
I thought it was King Kong I saw, that bitch is scary.
Yo mama so dumb a kid said âgimme a fagâ
And in response she kidnapped Ricardo in a giant bag.
Yo mama so blind, she drove through puppies in a blunder
I swear I almost thought the driver was Stevie Wonder.
Yo mama so old, sheâs nostalgic for the big bang.
Drier than Sahara, that crusty old thang.
Well, itâs a oooh, yo mama.
Ohhh, Yo Mama.
oh wop oh wop...YO MAMA!
Yo Mama so fat her picture still printing out.
Well, itâs a oooh, yo mama.
Ohhhh, YO MAMA!
Oh woo ohhh, YO MAMA!
Yo mama so ugly I thought you had two dads.
MMMMMMM
ahhhhhh
ohhhohoh
Your own motheeer, your own motheeeeerâs pussy is tight.
Itâs not too dryyy or weeet itâs just right.
Hey Mama!
I fucked her so hard, the bitch done passed out
but not before I creamed all over her and shout
âIâM FUCKING THESE MOMS ALL THE WAY TO HEAVEN!
Donât care if sheâs 20 or 77!
Iâm doing all the moms all over the worlâ
Even if they werenât âriginally born a girl.
A pussyâs a pussy no matter who its from
Donât care if that woman is smart or dumb!â
Thatâs the truth there, baby! Even if
yo mama too stupid to tell apart her own kid
or if sheâs so fugly, sheâs the reason why
Helen Keller, poor soul, went deaf and blind.
I want to fuck every MILF on Earth
it donât matter how much her ass is worth
or if sheâs so poor, coal on Christmas is a treasure
Would I fuck her anyway? It would be my pleasure.
My body count so high canât nobody top me
She said, âIâll call you Freddie Mercury cause I want you to rock me.â
I said, âaiight bet! Canât nobody stop me!â
Well, itâs a oooh, yo mama.
Ohhh, Yo Mama.
oh wop oh wop...YO MAMA!
But yo mama still so poor Africans donate to her!
Please don't make a joke about me; I'm just a human.
Iâd make a Kobe joke, it just wouldnât land right.
Enough with the Hitler jokes. They make me Fuhrer-ious!
I apologize if those jokes didn't meet your expectations. Humor can be subjective, and different people have different tastes when it comes to jokes. I'll try my best to share a few more jokes with you:
Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts!
What did one hat say to the other hat? You stay here, I'll go on ahead!
Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together!
Why don't seagulls fly over the bay? Because then they'd be called bagels!
What did one wall say to the other wall? I'll meet you at the corner!
Why don't eggs tell jokes? They might crack up!
What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
I hope these bring a bit more amusement. Let me know if there's anything else I can assist you with!
Here are 20 jokes for you:
Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
What did one wall say to the other wall? I'll meet you at the corner!
Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts!
Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together!
Did you hear about the mathematician who's afraid of negative numbers? He'll stop at nothing to avoid them!
How does a bee style its hair? With a honeycomb!
Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired!
What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta!
What's the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? Snowballs!
Why don't eggs tell jokes? Because they might crack up!
Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts!
What did one plate say to the other plate? Dinner is on me!
Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
Why don't seagulls fly over the bay? Because then they would be bagels!
Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems!
How does a computer get drunk? It takes screenshots!
What do you call a sleeping bull? A bull-dozer!
I hope these jokes brought a smile to your face! Let me know if you'd like to hear more.
I saw a dad shave his daughter's head because she made fun of a woman with cancer.
Good thing she didnât make fun of a pregnant woman đ€
Whatâs the difference between a photocopier and the flu?
One makes facsimiles; the other makes sick families.
Why did God steal a rib from Adam and make a woman out of it?
God wanted to show that nothing sensible can come of stealing!
Teacher: "What is the opposite of the following sentence: 'Children in the dark make mistakes'?"
Student: "Mistakes in the dark make children."
