I hope there is a lift to heaven. I shouldn’t be making jokes though.
Make Jokes
I was talking to this absolutely gorgeous woman, and I asked her, “What do you do?” And she said, “I’m a brain surgeon.” And I don’t know if this makes me sexist or not, but I was really impressed.
Most women can’t pull off sarcasm.
Q: The person who makes it doesn't say what it is.
The person who receives it doesn't know what it is.
The person who knows what it is doesn't want it.
What am I?
A: A baby.
Weedle will make you high.
What's about 12 inches long, has a purple head, and can make women scream all night?
Cot death.
What noise does Stephen Hawking make when he dies? Windows shutting down theme tune.
Don't trust the atoms, because they make up everything.
You take care of chickens. Does that make you a chicken tender?
Donald Trump is making hospitals so poor that they are using kidney beans for their transplants.
Guy spills milk on me. I say, "It's okay, we all make mistakes sometimes, but apparently your mom made a big one."
What do you call people that make retarded jokes?
You.
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
They can never make it home.
How to make a baby make funny faces?
Put it feet first in a blender.
What did the man say to the woman? "Make me a sandwich."
My daughter said I could never make a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen the look on her face when I drove pasta!
How do you make a dead baby float?
1 cup rootbeer 2 scoops dead baby.
Why can't two Chinese people have a white baby? Because "two wongs don't make a white."
So I was making slime, so I put glue, and a lil' pump of lotion and slime activator. Ahah, lil pump, get it?
What’s red, nine inches long, and makes my girlfriend cry every time she sees it?
Her abortion.
If I'm the night guard at the Samsung store, does that make me a guardian of the galaxy?
