Newest Machine Jokes - Page 3

have you ever heard of a dream that that that that the universe was a fake machine?

What has ten children crying, naked and screaming for their parents

My big green pedo machine

Little boy: Momma Mom: Yes my dear Little boy: One day I wanna work in McDonald's Mom: Why!? Little boy: Just to see if there ice cream machine is actually broken

Dogs can't operate MRI machines.

But catscan

run on a sandpaper floor-treadmill hybrid in a medium sized room for 24 hours it will be fun

Roses are red Obama is well spoken im sorry sir but the ice cream machine is broken

the twin towers were like a woman stuck in the washer machine they both got freed

TRUE STORY!

X-Ray Tech: I broke my arm and went to the hospital. The X-Ray Tech was the hottest blonde I've ever seen. I threw her ass down on the X-Ray table, ripped her clothes off, ripped off mine and I jumped on top of her! Then I put the X-ray machine on top of us, turned it on and I looked up on the X-ray monitor and I watched and saw my sperm swimming up inside her!

me and my suicidal friend are close, so i took him to the mall to treat him. we bought snacks, a new controller for his xbox and a led lights for him room to hopefully brighten his mood. after we scanned the last item, the machine beeped by itself.

Wot do u call dwarf the fell in to a cement mixer

A wee hard man

I invented a time traveling machine and travelled back to Pangea. I warned the dinosaurs about the deadly asteroid, they told me, "it wasn't an asteroid...it was Pionel Pessi's penalty ball ricocheted from Mars that made them extinct". Tears ran down my face. Shame on you Pessi!

I put a Dalmatian in a washing machine and killed him

What is big black and hairy it's a gorilla with a machine gun.

guy: Are you a vending machine? because your a snack. girl: Your card got declined. guy: Thats ok you got to bang them a few times to get you moneys worth.