My disabled dad went to the grocery store.
He got lost and yet they couldn’t find him.
Finally, he was found after a kid told them he was in the vegetable aisle.
Why can't Americans trade with other countries? We lost the trading center!
The other day I commented a dark humor joke on a post about a guy who lost his best friend. The joke was “I was so drunk last night I threw a mushroom at a midget and said ‘grow mario grow.’” He commented “What the hell is wrong with you?” and I said “IKR I really gotta work on my alcoholic issues.”
He then replied “This is a post about my dead best friend get the fuck off my feed I don’t even know you.” And so I said “Well then get to know me, I could become your new best friend!”
Stephen Hawking died because he lost Wi-Fi connection.
So one day a boy was at his dad's work when another little boy ran in crying. Then the dad said, "Aw, little boy, are you lost? Where's your parents?" And the little boy at his dad's work said, "OMG! Dad, you can't say that!"
Why can't he say that?
Answer: He works at an orphanage.
What's the difference between my dad and Nemo?
I don't know. I still haven't found them.
What do you call a Democrat that is a progressive?
A Democrat that lost in a presidential election.
Why did the Carthaginian say Rome lost the war?
Because they were just roman around.
I’m lost. Can you give me directions to your heart?
Pete the panther was racing a cheetah but lost. The cheetah said, "You can’t beat me, I’m a cheetah." Pete said, "Yeah, you are a cheetah cheetah."
Why is America not good at Clash Royale? Answer: They lost 2 towers! 🤣🤣🤣🤣
On a bus, a priest sat next to a drunk who was struggling to read a newspaper.
Suddenly, with a slurred voice, the drunk asked the priest:
"Do you know what arthritis is?"
The parish priest soon thought of taking the opportunity to lecture the drunk and replied:
"It's a disease caused by sinful and unruly life: excess, consumption of alcohol, drugs, marijuana, crack, and certainly lost women, prostitutes, promiscuity, sex, binges, and other things I dare not say."
The drunk widened his eyes, shut up, and continued reading the newspaper.
A little later the priest, thinking that he had been too hard on the drunk, tried to soften:
"How long have you had arthritis?"
"I don't have arthritis! It says here in the paper that the Pope has it."
Why did the Polish Roman Catholic priest remove zippers from the pants of gay men in the LGBT community?
Because he lost his key to his house and he was desperate to get back inside of his house and he thought that one of keys to their zippers would be able to unlock the door of his house.
A Russian wife turned to her husband and asked...
"What's this special military operation our glorious leader keeps talking about?"
Her husband replied, "It's a proxy war between Russia and NATO."
"Oh, right. How's it going?"
"Well," he replied, "so far we've lost 200,000 soldiers, 4,000 tanks, 500 aircraft, numerous helicopters, loads of armoured vehicles and artillery pieces along with our 'flag ship'."
"Wow! What about NATO?"
"They haven't turned up yet."
Normal Europe: Oh no, I lost my iPhone!
Amish: Oh no, I lost my potato!
My ex got hit by a bus yesterday.i nearly lost my job
What did the rapper say when he lost his voice?
"I guess I'll have to drop a SILENT TRACK!"
Why don't rappers ever get LOST?
Because they always find their way with their GPS (Great Poetic Skills)
Why did the rapper bring a map to the concert?
Because he didn't want to get LOST in the FLOW
The baby water bottle said to the mommy water bottle, "Mommy, I lost my teddy bear." The mommy water bottle said, "Why don't you RECAP on what you said?"
