Lost jokes
Three men were lost in the desert and found a genie who granted each of them a wish.
The 1st man wished he was home with his family. The 2nd man wished he was home with his family, and the 3rd man wished they were all back together again.
Why does Spiderman only have 11 months in his calendar?
Because he lost May!
Where did Joe go after getting lost on the mine field?
Everywhere.
What did Eminem call himself when he lost weight?
Slim Shady.
Why does Spider-Man only have 11 months?
He lost May.
I’m part of the anti anime association, but I’m starting to like anime. What do I do?
And for the joke: What do you call a dog with no back legs and a pair of metal balls? Sparky.
I was fuming when I lost my job as a window cleaner, like who built the Twin Towers anyway?
You heard of Spider-Man: No Way Home. Now get ready for:
Orphan: No Way Home.
What do you call a AK-47 that lost 1 point?
An AK-46.
The terrorists lost their landing gear and had to make a crash landing into the closest building because religion.
What do you call a magician who has lost their magic?
Ian.
A man from France, a man from Britain, and a man from New York are on an expedition to the Amazon Forest. After a while, they get lost. As they are walking, suddenly the bushes jump up into the air, and men with spears are there.
One man says, "Hey, you're in our sacred land. So, what we are going to do is skin you and then use your flesh to make canoes. But we aren’t that crazy, so we will let you choose how you die."
The man from France said, "Bring me the poison."
The man from Britain said, "Bring me the gun."
And the man from New York said, "Bring me a fork."
The guy was confused with the fork but still brought the items and gave them to them. The guy from France said, “For France!” and drank the poison and died. The man from Britain said, “Long live the Queen!” and shot himself and died. And the man from New York started stabbing himself with the fork and said, “MAKE A CANOE OUT OF THIS YOU FUCKERS!”
When the quiet kid lost a game of basketball and reaches into his bag,
other people in the gym: "Oh shit this nigga bout to shoot."
Your mom is so stupid, she got lost in Bed Bath & Beyond and slept on the floor.
Why don't orphans like to get lost?
Because somebody's going to ask where their parents are.
What does the sign say on the hooker house after they were on lockdown?
Answer: "We're on lockdown, get lost pervert."
A fully grown bull Great White Shark is 15 feet long and can open its jaws up to 1.2 meters long. It could eat a small child in seconds. Anyways, I lost my job at the aquarium...
What's one thing you'll never find in lost and found?
Your dad.
Today is sad. My sister got hit by a car, and I lost my license as a driver.
Why do US suck at chess? We lost both our towers.
Why is England so good at chess? They still have their queen.
Why does Russia suck at chess? They only have pawns.