Loss jokes
What do a blind kid and an orphan have in common?
They can’t see their parents.
Imagine saying "my bad" instead of "sorry for your loss" at a funeral.
How do you knock out 26 kids in one punch?
Give them a Sandy Hook.
What’s 9 inches long and makes my girlfriend scream?
One inch and put it in her. Her miscarriage.
What'd the farmer say when a coyote killed and ate his rooster?
"No, you ate my cock!"
What do you call a 5th grader with no friends?
Sandy Hook survivor.
Do you know what the F in orphan is for...
Family.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't run home.
What do you call an orphan who takes a selfie?
A family portrait.
Why can orphans never walk home?
Because there's no way to go.
What superhero will orphans never understand?
Homelander.
Why did Al Qaeda lose $100 on a bet?
They bet $100 that they wouldn't crash when they went through the Twin Towers.
What is an orphan's favorite movie?
"Meet the Family."
What is an orphan's favorite part of school homework?
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they don’t know where home is...
What's the difference between cotton and an orphan?
One gets picked.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
'Cause they don't know where home is.
I made a website for orphans. Unfortunately, it doesn’t have a home page.
Why is it ok to hit an orphan? It’s not like they can tell their parents.
Why did the orphan go to church? So he had someone to call Father.
Why do orphans love boomerangs? Because they come back.
Why was the orphan so successful? When they told him go big or go home, he only had one option.
What’s the only advantage of being an orphan? Nobody makes jokes about yo mamma.
Why can't orphans play baseball? They don’t know where home is.
I made a website for orphans, but it doesn't have a home page.
Doctor: I’m going to have to turn you away. Orphan: But why? Doctor: Because I’m a family doctor.
Why do orphans like boomerangs? Cause they come back.
Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be wanted.
Girls are like rocks; the flat ones get skipped.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite TV show? Family Guy.
If you hit an orphan, what are they going to do? Tell their parents?
If you hit an orphan with a car, at least you don't have to tell their parents.
Why did the orphan go to church? So he had someone to call Father.
What does an orphan call a family photo? A selfie.
Why was the orphan a big success? Cause people say go big or go home, he only had one option.
Why is it ok to hit an orphan? It’s not like they can tell their parents.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot.
What do orphans and blind kids have in common? They can’t see their parents.
Why can't orphans hear about ancient Egypt? Because they don’t know what a mummy is.
Why are orphans bad at poker? Because they don't know what a full house is.
What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.
Welcome to Antonio’s pizza and abortion, where yesterday’s loss is today’s sauce!