Loss jokes
Never tell an orphan about a family matter; they wouldn't understand.
Why can’t orphans have an iPhone?
Because they can’t find the home button!
Orphan, sorry.
Levon Aronian's wife died in a car crash. That's wheelie unfortunate.
Why can orphans never walk home?
Because there's no way to go.
New Teacher: I was an orphan as a kid.
Students: Damn.
Teacher: Is anyone missing?
Students: Your parents!
How do you punch 40 kids in the face at once? Hit them with a “Sandy Hook”.
What is an orphan's favorite song? "Lost Boy."
Kid: What is an orphan's favorite breakfast?
Teacher: What?
Kid: Fruity Pebbles with water.
Teacher: Why water?
Kid: 'Cause his dad never came back with the milk.
What do orphans call a selfie?
A family photo.
I told Siri about my dog, and she told me if she could tell me a joke to cheer me up, and I said okay.
She asked me, "Knock knock." I said, "Who is there?" She said, "Not your dog."
Why are orphans so bad at dodgeball? Because no one misses them.
For this orphan, his dad didn't only go and get the milk. His mom did too.
Orphan: "I want to kill my parents."
People: "I don't think you have the facilities for that, big man."
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can’t run home.
Why are orphans bad at basketball?
They haven't learned how to keep the ball with them.
The second worst thing to happen to these orphans!
Why do orphans go to church?
Because they can call someone "father."
Why do orphans use water with their cereal? Because their dad never came back with the milk.
Teacher: I was an orphan once.
Student: Oof.
Teacher: Who are we missing?
Student: Your parents.