I was dying when I called my sister and she said, "Hi, this is Pepperoni's pizza and abortion clinic; your loss, our sauce. How may I help you today?"
Why do orphans hate cricket?
Because they can't get a "homerun."
Girl: I've been an orphan since I was three.
Boy: Knock knock.
Girl: ...Who's there?
Boy: Not your parents!
An orphan was in 1st grade, and its teacher said to spell "parrot." The boy spelled "Parents."
Stop making jokes about cancer... I might sound like a Karen, but it’s not fair... My mum died of cancer last month, and still I cry nearly every night 🙏🏻
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they don’t know where home is.
What do orphans call their parents?
Unicorns because they don’t exist.
What does the orphan have in common with Batman? They both lost their parents.
If an orphan tells you there's 365 days in a year, tell them for you it's only 363 days because you skip Father's Day and Mother's Day.
Why can't orphans have friends?
They will stay together.
What do you call an orphan taking a selfie?
A family photo.
What do you call an orphan taking a selfie?
A family photo.
What’s an orphan's favorite game?
Catch.
Everybody misses Xxxtentacion, but the bullet didn't...
Boy and girl playing hide and seek... girl: "I found you." Boy: "What gave me away?" Girl: "Ur parents obviously."
The next time you get a sack call, pick up the phone and say, "Welcome to Pete's pizzeria and abortion clinic. Your loss is next week's sauce. How may we help you?"
I've looked everywhere... I just can't seem to find where I left my will to live.
After my wife died, I couldn't even look at another woman for 10 years.
But now that I'm out of jail, I can honestly say it was worth it!
Why do orphans have dry cereal?
Because they're still waiting on the milk.
If someone calls you, reply with this: “Hi, this is Dave’s orphanage and pizzeria, where yesterday’s loss is today’s sauce! How may I assist you today?”
