Loss

Loss jokes

Death

  • Son: Dad? Why is mommy no longer with us?

    Dad: Why did the chicken cross the road?

    Son: Why?

    Dad: To get to the other side, but your mother only made it about halfway.

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    Orphan

  • You tell an orphan joke to an orphan. You start laughing, they start crying. They say they are going to tell their mom. Then you start laughing harder.

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  • Miscarriage

  • What starts with M and ends with arriage?

    Miscarriage. Now we all know that joke never gets old, and you know what?

    Neither does the child.

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    Dad

  • What does a dad and the Twin Towers have in common? Once they're gone they never come back.

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    People

  • Q: Do you know why people don't like abortion jokes?

    A: Because they leave people with a feeling of emptiness inside.

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  • Orphan

  • Orphan: "I want to kill my parents."

    People: "I don't think you have the facilities for that, big man."

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    Knock

  • Knock knock! Who's there? It's Dave! Dave who? Dave proceeds to break down crying at the realization that his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she no longer remembers him.

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  • Funeral

  • I was at a funeral for some kids in a school shooting. I don't understand why everyone was so sad, so I asked a lady, "what's so sad?" and she said "What do you think was running through these kid's heads before they died?" I replied "probably a bullet". She gasped and said "do you have any idea how insensitive that is? What do you think is running through their parent's heads?" I said "probably all the money they're losing from this funeral."

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    911

  • You know, people should really stop making fun of 911....both my parents died.

    One driving one plane, and the other driving the other.

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    Orphan

  • So I had a friend who was an orphan, and he said, "How's your girlfriend?" I said, "I don't have one." He said, "I know, just reminding you." I then said, "Hey, how's your parents?" I never saw him after that.

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  • Orphan

  • A boy is about to be sentenced for killing his parents. He begs the judge to spare his life. The judge asks for one good reason he should be shown any mercy. The boy replies, "I’m an orphan, your honor."

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