You wanna know how to get rid of potential scam callers?
Next time you get a call from them, just answer the phone and say, "Pizza Hut abortion clinic, where yesterday's loss is today's sauce, how may I help you?"
I feel bad for the people who died in 2001. Those poor terrorists died doing their job.
Teacher: I used to be an orphan once.
Student: OOFT.
Teacher: Who are we missing?
Student: Your parents.
Me: Are you an orphan?
Boy: Yeah, what gave me away?
Me: ....ur parents.
My dad is like my virginity. I lost him at 12.
Me: I have lost it.
Random: Lost what?
Me: My will to live.
An orphan walks into a supermarket, gets lost and calls for his mum, then remembers.
what do you get when you play a country song backwards? you get your wife, your house, and your kids back.
So, I had an orphan friend, and he asked me, "How's your girlfriend?" I said, "I don't have one." He said, "I know, I just wanted to remind you." Then I asked, "How are your parents?" After that, I never saw him again.
Did you hear about the fire in the shoe factory?
Many soles were lost.
- The emo went to give the tree a high five, but the emo was left hanging.
- How did the gay person die? Homicide.
- Why did the emo get kicked out of the amusement park? He was cutting in line.
- When does a joke turn into a dad joke? When it leaves and never comes back.
- I cried when my dad chopped onions. Onions was such a good dog.
- I have happy memories building sandcastles with my dad, until my mom took his urn away.
- How is the person over there different from cancer? His dad didn't beat cancer.
What do you call a boomerang that does not come back?
An orphan's parents.
Why hasn't my dad come back? No seriously, I'm not joking.
Boy and girl playing hide and seek... girl: "I found you." Boy: "What gave me away?" Girl: "Ur parents obviously."
If an orphan tells you there's 365 days in a year, tell them for you it's only 363 days because you skip Father's Day and Mother's Day.
What do you call an orphan taking a picture with it's family?
A self-fie.
What do blind kids and orphans have in common?
Neither can see their parents.
My Grandmother died last month. The thing that bugs me to this day, I couldn't understand her last words... through the pillow.
What joke do you tell an orphan?
Knock knock...
Who's there?
Not your parents.
Why do orphans get offended by dark humor?
It doesn’t hit home.
