Loss Jokes

I congratulated my friend and losing all that baby weight she started crying told me I should make them for miscarriage like that......

People shoulde build orphanages next to grave yards so at leats orphans can see their parents

My girlfriend's dog died, so to cheer her up I went out and got her an identical one. She went mad, "What am I going to do with two dead dogs?"

My dog died I'm so sad

A Chinese boy never met his parents after they were killed in WW2, so when he learned where they were buried he quickly rushed there.

He sat down in front of their graves and prayed "I want to see your face again mommy...". A miracle happened, his mother rose up from the graves and hugged him.

The boy cried then said "I want to see you too dad". He looked at his father's grave but nothing happened

Suddenly a Japanese soldier came up behind him and asked "were you looking for me?"

Boobs are like friends you have big ones small ones real ones fake ones, but they all get taken out by cancer

A women brought her hamster to the vet. The vet takes a look and concludes the hamster died.

The woman doesn't believe it and request further investigation. So the vet lets in a Labrador. The dog sniffs around the hamster and shortly after he produces a sad whine, shakes his had and leaves the room with his tail low.

The woman, still not convinced, demands more examinations. The vet gets one of his cats. It walks around the hamster and pets it. After some time it shakes her head and runs of quickly.

"Fine, I believe you now," the woman says, my beloved hamster is dead. "I'm sorry for your loss", the vet replies. "Your bill for this visit will be 1505 dollars" says the vet. "what? 1505 dollars just to tell me my hamster is dead?" The woman says shocked.

The vet replies: "No, 5 dollars to tell your hamster died, 500 dollars for the lab report and 1000 dollars for the CAT scan."

Welcome to Jimmy’s orphanage and pizza shop where today’s loss is a sauce how may I help you

like this if you have ever had a family member die

Whats the moto for a pizza place thats also a abortion clinic: your loss is our sauce

somone stole my balls :(

one day my dog died because we couldn't find him then we got a cat on the same day then my cat went missing and when I was crying we heard are Asian neighbour was having a party then we went over and i saw my dog and cat on the grill and they eat them. in front of me saying yum yum doggy in my tummy and cat in my tummy as well.