Loss jokes

You know, people should really stop making fun of 911....both my parents died.

One driving one plane, and the other driving the other.

A boy is about to be sentenced for killing his parents. He begs the judge to spare his life. The judge asks for one good reason he should be shown any mercy. The boy replies, "I’m an orphan, your honor."

One day, an orphan threw a boomerang, and it didn’t come back like its parents.

Last night I burned down an orphanage.

There was one survivor who said I would regret it. I said, "What are you gonna do, tell your parents?"

Why do orphans go to church?

So they have someone to call father.

The twin towers are like my parents, only one came back.

You see a kid on the side of the street crying, so you go up to them and say, "Where are your parents?" The kid says, "What are parents?"

Why don't orphans like to get lost?

Because somebody's going to ask where their parents are.

What is the difference between a kid's dad and his cancer?

The cancer came back.

What do you call an asian kid who's bad at math?

An orphan.

On Xbox Live, an orphan can say "they f-ed your mom," so you can say, "at least mine didn't die from it."

My dad died when we couldn't remember his blood type. As he died, he kept insisting for us to "be positive," but it's hard without him.

What’s the difference between a clock and an orphan's dad? The clock comes back around.

Roses are red.

My soul is black.

I am never getting my dad back.

An orphanage got robbed yesterday. Let's just say that's the second worst thing to happen to those orphans. At least they didn't end up like their parents.

You can laugh at how men are stupid. But remember their favorite thing.

It starts with "M" and ends with "arriage".

If you guessed "Marriage" you're stupid. It's miscarriage and don't forget it. The joke never gets old to him. Just like the baby.

If someone calls you, reply with this: “Hi, this is Dave’s orphanage and pizzeria, where yesterday’s loss is today’s sauce! How may I assist you today?”

Teacher: I used to be an orphan once.

Student: OOFT.

Teacher: Who are we missing?

Student: Your parents.

Girl: I've been an orphan since I was three.

Boy: Knock knock.

Girl: ...Who's there?

Boy: Not your parents!

What do you do when you see a sad orphan?

Nothing, let them wait for their parents.