Loss jokes

My friend committed suicide yesterday... At least he went out with a bang.

I lost my black friend in the shadows. I lost my white friend on the wall. I lost my Asian friend in the sand and I lost my Islamic friend in the bombings.

One day, an orphan threw a boomerang, and it didn’t come back like its parents.

Why do orphans go to church?

So they have someone to call father.

Last night I burned down an orphanage.

There was one survivor who said I would regret it. I said, "What are you gonna do, tell your parents?"

The twin towers are like my parents, only one came back.

You see a kid on the side of the street crying, so you go up to them and say, "Where are your parents?" The kid says, "What are parents?"

Why don't orphans like to get lost?

Because somebody's going to ask where their parents are.

What is the difference between a kid's dad and his cancer?

The cancer came back.

What do you call an asian kid who's bad at math?

An orphan.

My dad died when we couldn't remember his blood type. As he died, he kept insisting for us to "be positive," but it's hard without him.

On Xbox Live, an orphan can say "they f-ed your mom," so you can say, "at least mine didn't die from it."

You can laugh at how men are stupid. But remember their favorite thing.

It starts with "M" and ends with "arriage".

If you guessed "Marriage" you're stupid. It's miscarriage and don't forget it. The joke never gets old to him. Just like the baby.

Roses are red.

My soul is black.

I am never getting my dad back.

What’s the difference between a clock and an orphan's dad? The clock comes back around.

An orphanage got robbed yesterday. Let's just say that's the second worst thing to happen to those orphans. At least they didn't end up like their parents.

Teacher: I used to be an orphan once.

Student: OOFT.

Teacher: Who are we missing?

Student: Your parents.

If someone calls you, reply with this: “Hi, this is Dave’s orphanage and pizzeria, where yesterday’s loss is today’s sauce! How may I assist you today?”

Girl: I've been an orphan since I was three.

Boy: Knock knock.

Girl: ...Who's there?

Boy: Not your parents!

What do you do when you see a sad orphan?

Nothing, let them wait for their parents.