Looking for Jokes

I've been looking for my parents for years.for the life of me I can't remember where I hid their bodies

Where did tigger go looking for Pooh?

In the toilet 🚽! 💩 💩 💩

A man comes in to the pharmacy to get a flu shot. The pharmacy nurse prepares one of the shots. The man gets the shot and the nurse cleans the shot area. The next day the man comes back and gets another shot. Before he paid the nurse said, “Don’t you realize if you get another shot you may die from overdose?” The man said, “Don’t you realize if you don’t shut up I’ll give you a shot of lead?” The nurse got scared and quit her job. The nurse was relaxing looking for a vacation to book when all of a sudden she hears an odd noise. It sound like someone cocking a gun. The man was hiding behind the nurses bushes. “In return for you giving me shots here are yours.” Said the man as he was chuckling like a psycho. The man shot the nurse in the leg so she couldn’t escape, then he shot her left hand which is the ladies dominant hand so she couldn’t call the cops. For the finishing move the man curb stomped the fucking life out of her until her head was as flat as paper. 9 years later...... All along this man, this psycho escaped a mental hospital. He wen’t on mass genocide killing 20’000 people in just 3 years. This man is more than human. More than alien. More than god himself...,. It was satan reborn.

Why did my brother cross the road ? Because he was looking for his brain

I was in my first space mission for NASA. As we were orbiting the asteroid belt I saw a figure. I couldn’t tell who it was but he spoke Spanish with an Argentinian accent. He said “I’m looking for my freekicks and penalties, can you help me find them”. We then decided to aid him

Me: "What are you doing??" Bully: "Where's my nan's urn?!?" Me: "I don't know." Bully: "Tell me!! *says worthless shit*" Me: "Next time you're looking for the urn, don't bother, I smoked her ashes. They were so fucking good. I then used a quarter of them as an exfoliator, cleared my acne and eczema btw!! Then built sandcastles with them, then blew them in your family's face after!"

Don't bully kids.

Have you ever seen that weird ad that pops up at the bottom:sexy Russian babes looking for men older than 30 and there 18 so is it a reverse pedo? O well

shaenaya is single 16 and looking for a 30 year old man that can pleasure her hhu

I was playing basket ball and a guy in a wheelchair asked if he could play.

I looked at him and told him that we are looking for ankle breakers yours are already broken.

Hello I'm Ariana I'm looking for someone anyone wanna date me?

Arina

hi ima girl gamer looking for a hot bf

I was looking for my sister... I looked down at my feet and saw her.

I am looking for mike roch

one day i was at school and this girl had the nerve she told me to go to the back of line i was looking behind me and she said what are u looking for i said "to who u talking to boo boo" like is u you my moma

so joe was at the store and he was looking for a dildo then he saw one made out of dick skin so he grabbed it and uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh UhuhUhUhUhUhuHuHuHuHUHUHUHUHUHUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH went his mouth PENIS PENIS