Given that it's a major guarantee that little boys' underwear will be half off at Kmart thanks to the blue light specials, now you know why Michael Jackson likes to loiter around the store all day long.
how many russians does it take to change a light bulb. I don't know they just keep Putin them in.
Why do women always have sex with the lights off?
Because they never like to see a man having a good time.
Why does the Sun go to school? To get brighter!
Sun.
My black friend turned off the lights and suddenly disappeared.
Johnny is on his way to school when he comes across a frog. With a sudden inspirational thought, he picks the frog up, shoves a firecracker up the frog's arse, lights the cracker, and blows the frog to smithereens.
Now at school, the teacher asks the class: "Has anybody got anything for show and tell this morning?"
Johnny waves his arm in the air and is virtually screaming "Me mis me mis me mis".
"Ok Johnny, what do you have to share with the class today?"
Little Johnny then says, "Well on my way to school today I shoved a cracker up a frog's arse." The teacher interrupts and says, "It's not arse Johnny, It's rectum."
Johnny then says, "Fucking oath it wrecked 'im."
I tried to think of how lighting works.
Then it struck me!
Are you a red light? Because I stop every time I see you.
The double slit experiment shows light particles are a wave that assemble in your presence. And you didn't even have to say a word!
Your mom is so fat that when God said, "Let there be light," he asked your mom to move out of the way.
I threw a lamp at an emo kid and told him to lighten the f*ck up.
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, they just sit in the dark and cry.
The best part about Poland 🇵🇱 is that the police lights are different.
How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb? None, they can't change anything.
I am just kidding, you know gay jokes aren't funny, come on guys.
What was OceanGate's biggest regret?
Not painting Dylan Mulvaney on the side of the Titan submarine for when it sunk like Bud Light's profits.
Your smile is so nice that the moon shines off them.
How many alter boys does it take to screw in a light bulb? Depends on how dark the priests have basement
VOTING QUARTERFINAL 1: LIKE: When the school shooter is about to leave your classroom and the autistic kid’s sketchers light up. DISLIKE: When the school shooter finds you and you think you’re gonna die but he remembers the time you gave him a pen. 🖌
Vote for the better joke
Me and Jesus are really close; he even turns the light on for me when I go pee in the middle of the night. Well, that is what I thought until the fridge was wet.
