Light Jokes

I tried to think of how lighting works.then it struck me.

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

The best part about Poland 🇵🇱 is the the police lights are different

are you a red light because i stop every time i see you

How many alter boys does it take to screw in a light bulb? Depends on how dark the priests have basement

What was oceangates biggest regret? Not painting Dylan Mulvaney on the side of the titan submarine for when it sunk like bud lights profits.

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

I threw a lamp at an emo kid and told him to lighten the f*ck up.

The double slit experiment shows light particles are a wave that assemble in your presence. And you didn't even have to say a word!

Me and Jesus are really close he even turns the light on for me when i go pee in the middle of the, well that is what i thought until the fridge was wet.

VOTING QUARTERFINAL 1: LIKE: When the school shooter is about to leave your classroom and the autistic kid’s sketchers light up. DISLIKE: When the school shooter finds you and you think you’re gonna die but he remembers the time you gave him a pen. 🖌

Vote for the better joke

How do you make the world’s greatest Harlem Shake?

Throw a flashbang into a room full of epileptics.

If you give a man a mach he is warm for the night but if you light a man on fire he will be warm for the rest of his life :)

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

why is the penis so light?

Because even thots can lift them

What’s the easiest way to make a glow worm happy? Cut off its tail—it’ll be delighted!

VOTING FINAL This vote is for the best School Shooter joke of the month. - LIKE: When the school shooter is about to leave your classroom and the autistic kid’s sketchers light up. DISLIKE: When you’re playing dead and the school shooter starts unbuckling his belt and you hear him say “This boy always had a fat ass”.

Vote for the better joke and the Joke of the Month will be announced in the comments tomorrow.

There were these two guys in a lunatic asylum... and one night, one night they decide they don't like living in an asylum any more. They decide they're going to escape! So, like, they get up onto the roof, and there, just across this narrow gap, they see the rooftops of the town, stretching away in the moon light... stretching away to freedom. Now, the first guy, he jumps right across with no problem. But his friend, his friend didn't dare make the leap. Y'see... Y'see, he's afraid of falling. So then, the first guy has an idea... He says 'Hey! I have my flashlight with me! I'll shine it across the gap between the buildings. You can walk along the beam and join me!' B-but the second guy just shakes his head. He suh-says... He says 'Wh-what do you think I am? Crazy? You'd turn it off when I was half way across!”