Light Jokes

How do you know you are blessed by God?

You don’t laugh at, make light of, or enjoy the evils and suffering people are inflicting on themselves and upon each other

What does a light bulb and a school shooter have in common? They both light up the room

How many Karen's does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one...to call 911 and demand a cop come do something about the intimidating blackness

How many dead prostitutes does it take to change a light bulb? -- Obviously not 8, because its still dark in my basement.

im jealous at me led lights. cause they r hanging from the celling ans im not.

How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb? It only takes one but it takes a long time and the light bulb has to want to change.

I encountered a milf at a bar last night although she is 57 years old, she is still very charming and sexy

we were drinking, chatting, laughing, and having a good time

then, she asked me flirtatiously

"have you ever tried a mother-daughter threesome before?"

I said, "Nope, not yet".

She drank a little more, and said, "well, darling, tonight is your lucky night."

So she took me to her place.

She took out her keys

opens her door

turn on the light

and she yells towards upstairs

"Mom, are you still awake?”

How many feminists do you need to change a light bulb? One. She puts the bulb up and waits for the world to revolve around her. ...just kidding- - none. They can't change anything.

Gary Glitter was imprisoned for inappropriate relations with preteens. Not to be outdone, Kelly Clarkson exclaimed "Hold my Bud Light!" whilst grasping her 1-year-old daughter.

I like my kids how I like my lights, Hanging from the ceiling

What do Children and lights have in common? They both hang from ceilings! Not funny, here’s another Why can’t China play baseball? They ate the bat

I sometimes want rampage, but what good would that do? I look for a way out, but there's not even a light shining through. The times where all is dark, are the times that I need a mark. Though people say that nobody will care, the truth is: there's always one who's fair. That person may not be the one you expect, but I am here with a passion to redirect. Once there was a time where I tried to end it all, because I only looked on the dark side. Truth was I wanted to be heard, to be respected, to let someone know. But that was in the past and this isn't about my dark ride, it's time for others to know that only a few words, can extinguish a glow.