Letter jokes

What does a man have 3 of, which a girl only has 2 of?

Legs.

What do we find at the end of every rainbow?

The letter W.

Was drinking in a bar with this girl when I suddenly blacked out. The next morning I received a letter saying they are processing my child benefits application, dafaq? I never had kids.

Why are there 25 letters in the alphabet? Because the D is in U.

Sam is a kindergartener. One day, Sam’s teacher told him to learn the first few letters of the alphabet. Later that night, Sam asked his moody sister what the first letter of the alphabet was, and she replied with “Oh, what’s the point. Life is meaningless...”.

Sam then went up to his room and found his brother crying on the floor. Sam asked him what the next letter was. “I hate you!” said Sam’s brother, so Sam left the room. Sam went to his mom and asked her what the third letter was. “You stupid f*****,” his mom yelled at him. So Sam went to ask his Grandpa what the fourth letter is, and his grandpa didn’t reply, so Sam went to bed.

The next day, Sam’s teacher called on him to tell the class what the first letter is, and he answered with “Oh, what’s the point. Life is meaningless...” and the teacher sent him to the school counselor. As he left the room, he yelled at his teacher “I hate you!”

As Sam arrived at the counselor’s office, she said she had called his parents and they wanted him to be safe and locked up in a padded cell. “You stupid f*****,” Sam screamed as he heard the ambulance sirens getting nearer. As the ambulance drove away, Sam, in his straight jacket, was silent.

Funny how "Hawking" rhymes with "talking" and "walking," and he can't do either.

And the first four letters of his Christian name spell "step," and he also can't do that.

Do you know what I found in my letter soup?

A space.

My dad is like my depression, you need a suicide letter to find him.

Why did the polack try writing a letter with his dick?

Because he didn't have a pen to write with.

What happens once every minute, twice every millennium, but never in a hundred years?

The letter M.

I find it interesting that if you rearrange the letters in the word “Mother-in-law” you get the words “Woman Hitler”.

If you text your crush and they leave you on read, just know that "read" has four letters. You know what also has four letters? "Mine." So that basically means that you are theirs. :)

Yo mama is so lazy that the only letters she knows are "NO".

What’s Hitler’s favorite letter?

Not Z.

How do you say "fish" without the "i"?

Fsh

What starts with F and ends with CK?

Firetruck.

I tell my therapist I’m scared of the 3rd, 9th, and 15th letter of the alphabet.

Doctor: Oh, I see.

Me: Ahhhh!!!!!

Why do orphans hate the letter FMD? Because F stands for "family," M stands for "mom," and D stands for "dad."

Global warming is the average of temperature on Earth.

A... B... Sea?