Letter Jokes

I know you don't like me, and that implies you need better taste.

I'm no an astronomer, but I'm pretty sure the Earth revolves around the sun... not you.

I'd give you a nasty look, but it seems like you've already got one.

Your birth certificate should be rewritten as a letter of apology

You haven't changed since the last time I saw you. You really should.

In middle school, we had to create words with magnet letters. Some kid laid the word "Animal Therapist". I changed one space and got sent home :/

How many letters are in the English Alphabet? Twenty-Two. ET went home, P ran down his leg and he took ME with him.

Q: How can you spell cold with two letters? A: IC (icy)

Q: What state is surrounded by the most water? A: Hawaii (this is really just a trick riddle)

Q: David's father had three

What do you call a group of letters that like to dance but make you want to poop?

A vowel movement.

Lostin Flowers14 days ago What are the four letters you don’t want to hear from a dentist?

I C D K

i can make a word with those \DICK

1. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field. 2. Why did the melon jump into the lake? It wanted to be a water-melon. 3. What did the duck say when it bought lipstick? “Put it on my bill.” 4. What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop. 5. What has a bed that you can’t sleep in? A river. 6. Why were the teacher’s eyes crossed? She couldn’t control her pupils. 7. What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? An Envelope. 8. How does the ocean say hello? It waves. 9. What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match. 10. What creature is smarter than a talking parrot? A spelling bee. 11. Which U.S. state has the smallest soft drinks? Minnesota (as in, “mini-soda”). 12. Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted. 13. Apparently, you can’t use “beef stew” as a password. It’s not stroganoff. 14. Why did the drum take a nap? It was beat. 15. Where do hamburgers go dancing? They go to the meat-ball. 16. Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing. 17. Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil? Because it’s pointless.

My therapist told me to write letters to the people you hate and then burn them Did that, but now I don't know what to do with the letters.

if u take off the first and last letter of demon there gonna turn emo

What has one head, one foot and four legs? A: A Bed

Q: Did you hear the joke about the roof? A: Never mind, it's over your head!

Q: How many letters are in the alphabet A.11 A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T

A letter to all Math; Dear Math, Grow up an solve your own problems! 2x6= DO IT YOURSELF!!!!

Chuck Norris came up with the name for Walker Texas Ranger in sheer brilliance. You can arrange each letter for the name of the show to display the true name being Wrangler Karate Sex!

Little of topic but Mum. You.wouldnt be here without me Son and my birth certificate is a sorry letter from the condom factory Mum fair point

What’s a 5 letter word that starts with a ‘P’ that girls love to get their hands on? 😏

Yo hairline looks like the letter “O”

Hey guys starting tomorrow I will put 1 letter of the doin your mom song every day. Can I finish the song? Also i might be in fortnite hehehehehe

"There are 20 letters in the alphabet, correct?" "No, it's 26." "Oh I forgot u r a q t" "Your missing one more" "I'll give you the d later" "....come to my office at 1pm ASAP."

Three sons left home, went out into the world and each of them made a lot of money. During a reunion, they discussed the gifts they'd given to their elderly mum.

'I built a big house for our mum,' said the first.

'I sent her a Mercedes, with a chauffeur,' said the second.

And the third smiled and said, 'I think my gift was the best. You know how much mum enjoyed reading the Bible? And you know that her eyes aren't so good anymore? Well, I sent her a remarkable cockatoo that recites the entire Bible, both old and new testaments. It took a priest twelve years to teach him. That cockatoo is the only one in the world that can do it. All mum has to do is name the chapter and verse, and the cockatoo recites it.'

A few days later, mum sent out her thankyou letters. She wrote to the first son,

'The house you built is so enormous that I only live in one room. The trouble is, I have to clean the whole house.'

To the second son she said, 'I'm far too old to travel anymore. I stay at home most of the time, so I've hardly used the Mercedes. In any case, the driver is so rude.'

To the third son she wrote 'Dearest Freddie. You have the good sense to know what your mum likes. The chicken was delicious!'