Why did the mailman come to the house?
To come back with the milk.
this is a true fact, the letter 'F' in orphan stands for family?
My daughter has been writing letters asking Satan for gifts. Imagine my shock when I realized she has dyslexia.
Me: I'm afraid of random letters.
Therapist: You are?
Me: [screams]
Therapist: Oh, I see.
Me: [screaming intensifies]
My birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.
A kindergarten class is learning about the alphabet. The teacher asked, "What comes after M?"
Little Timmy reached into his backpack and yelled, "16!"
Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom?
Because the “P” is silent.
Spongebob's teeth upside down is the twin towers.
Spongebob: 9 letters
Squarepants: 11 letters
Spongebob did 9/11.
Yo momma's so ugly, her birth certificate was an apology letter.
Are you in the alphabet 'cause I wanna give you the D.
What we find At the end of every rainbow? ⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️
The letter W
Why are there 25 letters in the alphabet? Because the D is in U.
Was drinking in a bar with this girl when I suddenly blacked out. The next morning I received a letter saying they are processing my child benefits application, dafaq? I never had kids.
You're so fat, you only know the letters KFC.
What does a man have 3 of, which a girl only has 2 of?
Legs.
Teacher: What is the capital of Washington?
Dumb kid: The W???
Sam is a kindergartener. One day, Sam’s teacher told him to learn the first few letters of the alphabet. Later that night, Sam asked his moody sister what the first letter of the alphabet was, and she replied with “Oh, what’s the point. Life is meaningless...”.
Sam then went up to his room and found his brother crying on the floor. Sam asked him what the next letter was. “I hate you!” said Sam’s brother, so Sam left the room. Sam went to his mom and asked her what the third letter was. “You stupid f*****,” his mom yelled at him. So Sam went to ask his Grandpa what the fourth letter is, and his grandpa didn’t reply, so Sam went to bed.
The next day, Sam’s teacher called on him to tell the class what the first letter is, and he answered with “Oh, what’s the point. Life is meaningless...” and the teacher sent him to the school counselor. As he left the room, he yelled at his teacher “I hate you!”
As Sam arrived at the counselor’s office, she said she had called his parents and they wanted him to be safe and locked up in a padded cell. “You stupid f*****,” Sam screamed as he heard the ambulance sirens getting nearer. As the ambulance drove away, Sam, in his straight jacket, was silent.
Funny how Hawking rhymes with talking and walking and he can't do either. And first 4 letters of his Christian name spells step and he also can't do that.
Do you know what I found in my letter soup?
A space.
My dad is like my depression, you need a suicide letter to find him.
