Let Jokes

A man from France, a man from Britain, and a man from New York are on an expedition to the Amazon Forest. After a while, they get lost. As they are walking, suddenly the bushes jump up into the air, and men with spears are there.

One man says, "Hey, you're in our sacred land. So, what we are going to do is skin you and then use your flesh to make canoes. But we aren’t that crazy, so we will let you choose how you die."

The man from France said, "Bring me the poison."

The man from Britain said, "Bring me the gun."

And the man from New York said, "Bring me a fork."

The guy was confused with the fork but still brought the items and gave them to them. The guy from France said, “For France!” and drank the poison and died. The man from Britain said, “Long live the Queen!” and shot himself and died. And the man from New York started stabbing himself with the fork and said, “MAKE A CANOE OUT OF THIS YOU FUCKERS!”

What did the north tower say to the south tower?

"Let’s talk later, I gotta catch a plane."

Why did the butt let out a fart?

Answer: To wipe out humanity!

Listen, Man United might not thank me but get the contract out, put it on the table. Let him sign it, let him write whatever numbers he wants to put on there, given what he's done since he's come in. Ole's at the wheel, man. He's doing it. He's doing his thing. Man United are BACK.

Please Fokes you can hit the thumbs up button on the ones you like. There is no need to repost..

*Anyways*

Knock knock Who's there? Can I come in? Can I come in who? Can I Come In You!?

More often than not, I will cry when I masturbate.. Some nights I'm a real tear jerker! But on the nights and I smoke a lil pot and then masturbate, my dad ends up bugging me because I am a weed wacker.

How do you keep a dog from humping your leg? Pick him up and suck his dick.

How does Popeye keep his manly part from rusting? He sticks it in Olive Oil.

Snow White and the seven dwarfs are in the the tub feeling "HAPPY". Happy got out now they are fucking "GRUMPY"

What's worse than waking up and finding a "Penis" drawn on your forehead? Finding out it was "Traced"

If I had a rooster and you had a donkey and your donkey ate my rooster what would you have? 3 feet of my cock up your ass

Did you know Batman was actually Black? Yeah he couldn't go a night with out Robyn!

Did you hear Gods Word Of The Day? Its Legs! Now lets go out and spread them.

What do you call a Mexican woman with no legs? Cunt-sway-low

Whats worse than sucking 25 oysters out of your Grandmas Pussy? Realizing you only put in 15

Why did the orphan fall off the mountain? Because his parents let go.

I'll give you 20 dollars if you let me cum in you.

OTHERS (MOTIVATED): If I had FLYING as a SUPERPOWER, FALLING would be the BEGINNING STAGE.

ME (DEPRESSED): OK, GOOD IDEA! LETS FALL OFF THE CLIFF AND FLY TO HEAVEN!!

A young family moved into a house next to a vacant lot. One day a construction crew tumed up to start building a house on the empty lot. The young family's 5.year.old daughter naturally took an interest in all the activity going on next door and ll spent much of each day observing the workers. Eventually the construction crew, more or less adopted her as a kind of project mascot. 'mey chatted with her, let her slt with them while they had coffee and lunch breaks, and gave her little lobs to do here and there to make her feel Important. At the end of the first week, they even presented her with a poy envelope containing ten dollars. The little girl took this home to her mother who suggested that she take her $1 0 'pay ' to the bank the next day to start a savings account When the girl and her mom got to the bank, the teller was equally Impressed and asked the little girl how she had come by her very own paycheck at such a young age. The little girl proudly replied, 'l worked last week with a real construction crew building the new house next door to us.' 'Oh, my goodness gracious,' said the teller, 'and will you be working on the house again this week, too?' The little girl replied, 'l will, it those assholes at Lowe's ever deliver the tucking sheet rock '

What did one Geodude say to the other Geodude?

Let’s rock!

Snover1: You can't pass through Snow Way!

Squirtle: Why can't I pass through Snow Way?

Snover1: There's snow in the way.

Snover2: Yeah, you can't get past through the snow while it's on the way, to continuous.

Squirtle: What? There's snow in here the whole time. What is this? Snow Society?!

"AAAAARRRGGH!!"

Squirtle: Who is that?

Snover2: That is Snow.

Squirtle: What?! That giant snow tree thing is Abomasnow!

Snover2: Oops! Don't be a Halt!

"Haaaaaaaaallllltttt!!!"

"Aaaaaauuuuggghhhh!"

Snovers: That was a JOKE, Squirtle be FROZEN, just let it go, let it go!

Are you a rope? Let's hang out by a tree and drink :)

The guard caught one of the fugitives as he tried to escape. All he said was...

"Don't let your guard down."

What do Michael Jackson and Santa Claus have in common? They both let little kids sit on their lap.

Grandpa: "Sonny, let me tell you something. There's only one damn thing in this whole world worse than Alzheimer's."

Boy: "What's that?"

Grandpa: "What's what?"

More expresso, less depresso. Jk, let's all drink bleach cuz life is a bitch.

Everyone: So, wait, let me get this straight. Feminists want to cancel Father's Day because it is offensive to single mothers.

Feminists: Correct.

Everyone: Then what the f*** is the point of Mother's Day?

Me: Let's go to Randy's.

Friend: There's no Randy's.

Me: Ran deez nuts with a car.

If a baby cow finds a wolf pup they will best friends but when mummy wolf comes it’s a fight so the baby cow and the wolf pup made it a Secret but one day the mummy cow and the mummy wolf Found out but no one got hurt in fact the mummy cow and the mummy wolf got to know each other and baby cow and wolf pup were very happy and played all day long there friendship will never Break -THE END- this was not a joke but a meaning if you are different that doesn’t change who you are and your friends are so be yourself and don’t let people break your dreams and don’t Forget them either so no matter who you are don’t let people change who you are🐺🐮

Why you never have to give a balloon to Elsa?

Because she will let it goooooooooooooooo let it goooo!