Leave jokes

A horse walks into a bar. Several people get up and leave, realizing the potential danger in the situation.

Women should be allowed to leave the kitchen... to clean the rest of the house.

What's the difference between my car and a hooker? I park my car in a garage instead of leaving it on the side of the road.

A couple is sitting down, holding hands, and having a picnic after their wedding when the husband's friend walks over and says,

"Jenny and Jonathan sittin' in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G. First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes abrupt, tragic miscarriage! Then comes blame. Then comes despair, two hearts damaged, beyond repair. Johnathan leaves Jenny, and writes on the tree: D-I-V-O-R-C-E."

Why did the orphan not have a girlfriend?

Because he thought that she would leave him too.

I got in trouble in school for leaving the depressed kid hanging.

Why didn't Logan Paul high five the Asian man? Because he loves to leave Asians hanging.

What has eight legs and leaves kids alone? The Jackson 4.

what did the suicidal kid say to the tree?

don't leave me hanging.

Suicide is just freedom, life is just full of pain... Sometimes if you're gone maybe somebody might notice. Feels like life is a maze and the only way to leave is the exit. Nobody notices your pain, your suffering, and that you try your best though everyone notices your mistakes. Life just feels like everyone hates you. Life for me is just faking smiles, I'm not sure how everyone lives such a good life.

An orphan is like marriage. The kid is always the reason for divorce. The kid is always the reason for his parents leaving him.

My dad told me to do what he did best, so I left.

One day, a girl was showering with her mom. She pointed at her mom's breasts and asked: "When can I get these?" Her mother replied: "In about 6 to 7 years when you grow up :)".

The other day, the girl's showering with her dad, and she pointed at his penis and asked: "When can I get this?" Her dad looked around and replied: "In about 20 minutes when your mom leaves the house."

What’s the difference between black matter and Black Lives Matter?

Black matter leaves an impact.

Just hire some people to be fake parents and print off an adoption paper. On April Fools', just leave them there at the orphanage! APRIL FOOLS!

My girlfriend left me for spending my own money. I buy this bitch thousands upon thousands of dollars worth of stuff, but I spend 100 dollars on a prostitute, she leaves me.

Official Dj Penaldo playlist.

1. "I'm a fraud" 2. "I need you (ft. Tap-ins)" 3. "I Want to Leave Mid United" 4. "Back where I belong (ft. Europa league)" 5. "TY Eder" 6. "Nobody wants me (Rejectnaldo Remix)" 7. "Fuck that kid (ft. Lil Broke phone)" 8. "Sewy (Benched +arms crossed version)"

Leave a man on a plane, and he flies for a day.

Throw a man off a plane, and he flies for the rest of his life.

Why should you always give an emo a high five in the hallway? You can’t leave them hanging.

Why can't depressed kids high five a tree? It will leave them hanging.

Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find home!

A serial killer was at my house and killed all my family but me. Why? I was in the living room.

What do sloths and depressed people have in common? They both hang off trees.

What is a group of depressed kids called? The suicide squad.