Leadership jokes
What do you call a blind and illiterate military leader?
Winston Churchill.
What do you call a guy that lies a lot?
The president.
The "S" in Putin stands for smart.
All hail President Trump!
What did Obama ask Trump?
Putin's Brain:
We all know that Lincoln and Kennedy are the most open-minded presidents in the world.
What's worse than having a comedian as president? Having a president that has dementia.
JFK and Abraham Lincoln were terrible presidents. It's like their heads were empty.
If Joe Biden and Kamala Harris jump off a cliff, who survives?
Americans...
What is the difference between the President of Ukraine and the President of the United States?
The President of Ukraine is a comedian, and the President of the United States is a joke!
What is the difference between a comedian and a clown?
A comedian leads Ukraine, and a clown leads America.
To all the little rude people here, fuck you. I didn't ruin this country, it was Putin!
Why go to sleep because he was bossy?
A plane is going to crash. There are four passengers and only three parachutes. All the staff are safe and are gone, leaving the passengers. Ryan Reynolds is the first. He says, "My fans need me," and jumps. Donald Trump takes another and says, "I am the smartest president," and jumps, leaving one. There is a pope and a boy left. The pope says, "Child, my life is over and yours has just begun, take the last parachute." The boy replies, "Don't worry - Donald took my backpack."
Everybody is wondering what position Kenny will give his brother in their new company.
Probably top.
Kenny likes to be the bottom in every sexual encounter.
It's past April Fool's Day, and we still have a joke as president.
Listen, Man United might not thank me but get the contract out, put it on the table. Let him sign it, let him write whatever numbers he wants to put on there, given what he's done since he's come in. Ole's at the wheel, man. He's doing it. He's doing his thing. Man United are BACK.
How do you spell "cognitive mess?"
J.O.E. B.I.D.E.N.
Joe Biden