Laundry jokes
Well, I got stuck in the dryer and fell asleep. Then my step bro got home, and I did not know, and hours later I woke up. My pants were down, and my butt was on fire.
A blonde drops off her dress to the dry cleaners.
The lady says, "Come again!"
The blonde says, "No, it's toothpaste this time."
How are laundry and Michael Jackson related?
They both got bleached!
If you get out of the shower clean, how does your towel get dirty?
How are wet clothes and a depressed person alike? One gets hung up to dry, the other gets hung up to die.
I put a Dalmatian in a washing machine and killed him.
I was Gandalf the Grey.
But now, after just three washes...
I got stuck in the dryer again. Brother, say less.
I would rather do my own laundry, not my uncle's laundry, because I ain't no damn butler like Alfred from Batman. I don't live in no damn Batcave by Gotham tity.
What do my clothes and a depressed person not have in common?
My clothes don't hang themselves...
Wife: I think these pants are getting too small for me!
Husband: Don't worry, maybe you are just bad at laundry.
What do mermaids wash their fins with?
Tide.
Why can’t the employee tell dirty laundry jokes?
Because they always come out clean.
I started beating my washing machine because it wasn't working, my wife started crying.
Why is the day you do laundry, cook, clean, iron, and so on called a day off?
I ran out of bras, so I wore...
My grandma's underpants!
Why was the Chinese laundry joke not funny? It had no irony.
Why is Martin Luther King so bad at laundry?
He won't separate the whites from the colors...
What's the difference between your mom and your dad? One leaves your life to go get milk, and the other cleans up after you, feeds you, and does your laundry.
What is the difference between a washing machine and a hooker?
I can put a load in the washing machine without it following me.