Laundry jokes
Emo grass cuts itself, while transgender laundry hangs itself.
What's the difference between your mom and a laundromat washer?
The washer doesn't take loads for free.
What's the difference between a sheet and a baby?
One of them is really loud when you iron it.
How do you know a woman is blind?
Because she can’t see the kitchen or the laundry.
What's the toughest stain to wash off a little boy's underpants?
Michael Jackson's lipstick.
I ate a sock yesterday. It was very time-consuming.
What’s the first thing you should do if an epileptic is having a seizure in the bathtub?
Throw in your dirty laundry!
Joke Tide.
What goes in dry and comes out wet and has white stuff at the end?
An emo kid sees his clothes hanging to dry, and he says to his clothes, "I wish I were you!"
What's the most optimistic blood type? B+.
What disease causes wrinkled clothes? An iron deficiency.
Do you get jealous of your clothes when they hang from the line?
When your mom tells you there's a present in the laundry room,
The present: Laundry.
*gunshot*
What happened to the cheetah that took too many baths?
The cheetah became spotless!
What do you do when a person with epilepsy gets seizures in the bathtub? Throw in some laundry.
Q: What do you do when an epileptic has a seizure in the bathtub?
A: Throw in some laundry.
A young peasant coming from the field with his scythe on his shoulder notices an attractive young woman that was doing the laundry in a mountain stream, perched on some rocks near a waterfall.
The guy stops and leans against his scythe, fascinated by the young girl's beauty.
After minutes of watching her, she loses her balance, slips on a rock and falls all the way down, crushing her head on the white rocks.
Thoughtful, he puts his scythe back on his shoulder and walks away, saying to himself "Damn, another washing machine destroyed by limestone!"
Why are washers better than babies?
Washers don't cry when you put a load in them.
How come orphans know how to do laundry?
Cause that's usually the mom's job.
Well, I got stuck in the dryer and fell asleep. Then my step bro got home, and I did not know, and hours later I woke up. My pants were down, and my butt was on fire.