Laugh Jokes

If you boil a funny bone it becomes a laughing stock. That's humerus.

Some dude called me a tool

So later I got hammered and nailed his gf.

Guess he was right :/

credit to funnydude from laugh factory website lol

How many times do yo tickle a squid before it laughs???

TEN-TICKLES

i'm so lonely, even the alphabet says 'HI'.. 'JK'

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

Me:Help I'm stuck in a trap Friend:What kind? Me:It's called life, yeah I've been trying to get out of it for 6 years now, it just won't let me go. Friend:That's not funny.. Me:Yeah? Nor is wanting to die, yet I'm still over here laughing every time I try to. Friend:I'm calling your mom. Me:She knows. Friend:Whats she doing to help, then? Me:She's supposed to help? Friend:Have you told your dad? Me:I will when he comes back. Friend:Where is he? Me:I don't know he's been gone for 15 years. Friend:.... Me:What? Friend:Why? Me:Why what? Friend:Why would you joke like that? Me:I was joking.. Friend:I know. Me:Oh. I didn't know. Friend:... Me:Have a nice day, I'll see you tomorrow..Maybe..

Once I went to a museum and over heard someone speaking to an employee for information.

"These are lying clocks, they tell how many lies a person tells."

"oh cool"

"this is mother Teresa's clock, the clock hasn't moved because she never lied."

"Makes sense"

"This is Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands only moved twice indicating he only lied twice."

"Where's Trump's clock"

"Oh, we're using it as a ceiling fan."

And then I burst out laughing 'cause it's so true.

Why did all the numbers laugh at 22 ? Because it had tu tu's

A puma was making another puma laugh that puma that was laughing said “Stop making me laugh I’m gonna puma pants”

I tried out some puns to make people laugh, but no pun in ten did.

What do you call a laughing motorcycle? - a Yamahahahaha

When a person yells, just laugh and remember that they can’t hurt what’s already dead

Did you hear the joke about the baby with cancer? It never gets old.

What’s a lung’s favorite type of exercise

Breathing exercises

I told this to my English teacher and he said it to the class and no one laughed someone help)

How do you make a peanut laugh? You crack it up.

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

3 Europeans head to an island. They are captured by the island people. They are going to kill them and they plead. They grant them a chance to live. The island people tell them to grab a fruit from the tribe's garden and bring it back, then to follow the task at hand. The first guy brings back a peach. The island leader says, "Stick it up your ass. If you laugh, you die." The first guy shoves it up his ass and laughs, so they kill him. The second guy brings a grape, he does the same and laughs, making them kill him. The first two are in heaven together. "Peaches are fuzzy so I laughed. How the hell did you die? You had a grape!" says the first guy. The second guy replied,"It didn't tickle at all. I laughted at the sight the third guy was bringing over a pinapple."