Last will jokes

My Crandall just be smashing more than you ON DA GIRLS, and he was slapping your girl last night harder than WILL at the OSCARS! ;)

I met a gay guy last night.

Man, was he a pain in the ass.

Two magicians were in a competition. The first one did magic, and the second started counting down, "3, 2," but before he said the last number, he 1.

Yo mama so fat, the last time she 90210 was on a scale.

You're so short, when it rains you're the last one to know.

You are so fat that the last time you stepped on the weighing scale, the doctor said, "I want your weight and not [your] phone number."

Last post for today, but I had to say one more thing! Tomorrow I am going to Six Flags, and I am literally so excited! It is going to be so much fun. Hope you guys have a good MLK JR. day! Woohooo!

What were the astronauts' last words before the shuttle blew up?

"What does this button do...?"

My grandpa's last words before he died in Vietnam were, "What the fuck did I step on?"

Stephen Hawking's last words were the Windows closing sound.

So last week I gave my blind friend a cheese grater. The next two weeks he told me that was the most violent book he has ever read.

What were my great grandpa's last words?

"SHIT MG42!!!"

If you think about it, then adoption is the last choice for getting a child, so those who are adopted were the last choice.

Nothing lasts long these days!

As Confucius says, "Hare today, gone tomorrow!"

We asked our teacher many times for an atlas, and he said, "At last, you can have one!"

If I were to not eat the last biscuit, I would feel "crumby."

Once we went to a light bulb party last night, YO it was freakin lit.

Last time I got caught stealing a calendar, I got 12 months.

Cremation, the last chance to have a smoking hot body.

Stephen Hawking went on a date last night.

She left after 15 minutes, complaining she didn't like his tone.