Last will jokes

If you think about it, then adoption is the last choice for getting a child, so those who are adopted were the last choice.

Stephen Hawking's last words were the Windows closing sound.

Yo mama so fat, the last time she 90210 was on a scale.

My grandpa's last words before he died in Vietnam were, "What the fuck did I step on?"

What's the difference between a Chinese person and an old person?

One lasts long and another doesn't.

My Crandall just be smashing more than you ON DA GIRLS, and he was slapping your girl last night harder than WILL at the OSCARS! ;)

I met a gay guy last night.

Man, was he a pain in the ass.

Two magicians were in a competition. The first one did magic, and the second started counting down, "3, 2," but before he said the last number, he 1.

So last week I gave my blind friend a cheese grater. The next two weeks he told me that was the most violent book he has ever read.

What were my great grandpa's last words?

"SHIT MG42!!!"

Nothing lasts long these days!

As Confucius says, "Hare today, gone tomorrow!"

What did the teacher say to the fat Turkish kid that always ate in his class?

"You could do with Ramadan lasting all year, couldn't you?"

Cremation, the last chance to have a smoking hot body.

Last time I got caught stealing a calendar, I got 12 months.

If I were to not eat the last biscuit, I would feel "crumby."

Once we went to a light bulb party last night, YO it was freakin lit.

I still remember my granddad's last words,

"Are you still holding the ladder?"

A daughter asked her mother how to spell penis. Her mom said, "You should have asked me last night. It was at the tip of my tongue."

Yo mama's so old, she was a waitress at the Last Supper.

When my Uncle Frank died, he wanted his cremations to be buried in his favorite beer mug.

His last wish was to be Frank in Stein.