Last will jokes

We asked our teacher many times for an atlas, and he said, "At last, you can have one!"

A daughter asked her mother how to spell penis. Her mom said, "You should have asked me last night. It was at the tip of my tongue."

Yo mama's so old, she was a waitress at the Last Supper.

What's the difference between a parachute and a coffin?

One brings you safely to the ground, and the other is a last resort when you've already hit it.

Why can’t you tell JFK facts about Dallas?

Last time he was there, he got his mind blown.

Once we went to a light bulb party last night, YO it was freakin lit.

If I were to not eat the last biscuit, I would feel "crumby."

Last time I got caught stealing a calendar, I got 12 months.

Stephen Hawking went on a date last night.

She left after 15 minutes, complaining she didn't like his tone.

Cremation, the last chance to have a smoking hot body.

Nothing lasts long these days!

As Confucius says, "Hare today, gone tomorrow!"

I still remember my granddad's last words,

"Are you still holding the ladder?"

When my Uncle Frank died, he wanted his cremations to be buried in his favorite beer mug.

His last wish was to be Frank in Stein.

This isn't an orphan joke, but I got a job at a library, but it only lasted 15 minutes. Turns out, books about women’s rights shouldn’t go in the Sci-Fi / Fantasy section.

Mia’s mother has 5 kids: Lilly, Abby, Alexa, Mila, and.... Q: Who is last? A: Mia.

Knock, knock. Who’s there? Little old lady. Little old lady who? Little old lady, you don’t need to yodel about it!

A boy named Jimmy was riding to Hell to save his brothers and sister. That is the last place he pissed. There came across the Devil.

Part 1

My Italian chef friend died last week. He pasta away.

What were Princess Diana's last words?

Have you been Dri...?

Why does Japan not allow little boys to run?

Because the last time a little boy came, Japan lost a state.

I was at school one day, and my teacher gave me homework. Once I got home, I did not do my homework, but I watched TV. After the movie, I finally went to go do my homework. I was almost done with my homework when I got to the last question. I didn't know the answer, so I asked the closest living being to me, which was my dog, and I asked him: what's two minus two? He said nothing.