A woman walks in to a dentists office sits on the counter and spreads her legs. The dentist says i think you have the wrong idea with that the woman replies last week you gave my husband his false teeth now you can get them out.
I would like to dedicate this song to a friend of mine, who was run over last week and is in hospital.
The wheels on the bus go round and round!
My cousin died last week he needed a blood transfusion but we didnt know his blood type he just kept saying "b positive b positive" but its hard to be positive with him gone
Last week I told my psychiatrist, "I keep thinking about suicide," and he told me from now on I have to pay in advance.
I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a mussel.
I have a the best life coach ever, because he taught to not care. He did it so well that he died last week, and I still don’t care.
A lady walks in to a dentists office, sits on the counter and spreads her legs. The dentist says i think you have the wrong idea with that the lady replies; last week you gave my husband his false teeth now you can get them out
Last week I was on a plane to Manchester when suddenly the plane was hit by a BALL. I wondered where it came from but I soon realized it was none other than Penaldo practicing his free kicks. Shame on you Penaldo for almost killing me!
I went for my routine check up last week and everything was going great until the doctor stuck her finger up my butt. Should I look for a new dentist?
Two boys are talking on the bus Boy 1: I feel like i'm forgetting something. Boy 2: hey did you hear about that school shooting last week? Boy 1: oh that's right
Last week a girl asked me for sex. I had to disappoint her... so I said yes.
I tried to find my watch I lost last week but I didn't have the time
My friend fell on the Nile river and Egypt last week he swears by it, but he’s in denial
One day, a priest is walking down the street and sees a little girl with a box. "What's in the box?", the priest asks. "Christian kittens", the little girl answers. Pleased, the priest smiles and continues on his way. A week later, the same priest is walking down the street with a nun when he sees the little girl and the box again. "Ask her what she has in the box", he says, "It's the cutest thing!" The nun walks up and asks the girl what she has in the box. "Atheist kittens", she says. The priest rushes forward and says "ATHEIST KITTENS!!! Last week you said they were "Christian kittens!!!" "They were", she says. "Now their eyes are open".
"Welcome to mama mia's pizzeria and abortion clinic, where last weeks lost is this weeks sauce."
I have to file a complaint against Spotify because I didn’t see you on my hot singles last week
Did you hear about the young man who brought floral arrangements in the shape of a life jacket on his friend’s funeral who drowned last week? Everyone was furious but he explained, “It’s what he would have wanted.”
Someone complimented me on my driving last week. They left a note saying, 'Parking Fine'
So last week I gave my Blind friend a cheese grater. The next 2 weeks he told me that was the most violet book he has ever read
My Italian chef friend died last week: He pasta away
