Lack jokes
There's nothing more depressing than a failed suicide attempt.
What caused the Great Depression? A lack of comedians.
If you're serious, congratulations on getting this far in life with absolutely no comprehension of reality.
If you had this kind of knowledge about driving a car, you'd be sitting 30 feet away from it, throwing pieces of pickles at a barn and shouting ‘shazam’ into an empty iPhone case, wondering why the car wasn't moving.
I don't have much motivation for things, that's why I haven't yet killed myself, hehe.
What do you do when you're bored?
I beat up orphans.
What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Why does Santa not have any children?
He only cums once a year.
Every hair zodiac has a hairstyle--except Cancer.
Why did Sally fall off the swings?
Because she had no arms.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally!
One would think Dracula would have a lot of friends. Unfortunately, no one likes him. He is a pain in the neck.
My wife said I have no sense of direction.
I said, "Where did that come from?"
I would say life's a joke, but I can't, because jokes have a meaning.
I got fired for not doing enough work.
Guess I didn’t put enough backbone into it.
I was talking to a beaver about my life. I don't think he really gave a dam about it at all.
Why didn’t the skeleton go to the party?
He had nobody to go with.
Why can't Sally swing?
Because she has no arms.
Knock knock, "Who's there?", not Sally.
Where did Sally go when the bombs dropped?
Everywhere.
Why can’t orphans be gay?
They have no one to call "daddy".
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
She didn't have any arms.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally.
With numerous reports of Donald Trump's odor and Kelly Clarkson's lack of hygienic habits... proof that money doesn't buy cleanliness.
What do the initials BIBLE stand for?
Bull In Book Lacking Evidence
What does B.I.B.L.E. stand for?
Bull Shit In Book Lacking Evidence.
Does it cycle now?
Why is it that the Libertarian Party never had a formal president of the United States that ran as a Libertarian that had a presidential library?
Because the Libertarian Party is the party of principle. The Libertarian Party was founded in 1971 and the Libertarian Party has not won a presidential election since 1972, because the Libertarian Party doesn't believe in using force to achieve political and social goals.