Know jokes
You wanna know why I love trains?
They end my suffering.
I don’t know what’s worse: Finding bucket loads of porn on my dad’s laptop, or finding out he was in all of them.
I was gonna roast you about your chin, but I didn't know which one to talk about.
Walked in to a gun store, everything was half off.
I didn't know back-to-school shopping started.
I was in cooking class and my teacher said, "Does anyone know what a chopping board is similar to?"
Me and my friend just glanced at each other and burst out laughing.
Long story short, the teacher understood the joke, and now we are both in daily therapy. 😭💀
Me: Knock knock.
Friend: Who's there?
Me: I don't know anymore.
What is the difference between a rapist and a dictionary?
One of them knows the definition of no.
What did the boy with no hands get for his birthday?
I don't know, he hasn't opened it yet.
Did you know the pool in the Titanic is still full?
Why is Santa always so happy? Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.
What did the boy with no hands get for his birthday?
I don't know. He hasn't opened it yet.
Why can’t orphans play baseball? They don’t know where home is.
What starts with M and ends with arriage?
Miscarriage. Now we all know that joke never gets old, and you know what?
Neither does the child.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high and grabbed her thigh and said, "You know you wanna." Jill said yes and lifted her dress so they could have some fun, but stupid Jill forgot her pill and now they have a son.
Lmao, idiots don't know how to play Jenga.
The Sunday school teacher is a little concerned that his kids might be a little confused about Jesus, so he asks his class, “Where is Jesus today?”
Little Suzy replies, “He’s in heaven.”
Little Mary replies, “He’s in my heart.”
Little Johnny says, “He’s in the bathroom!”
The teacher says, “How do you know this?”
Then little Johnny says, “Well, every morning my father gets up, bangs on the bathroom door, and yells, “Jesus Christ are you still in there!?””
A cop stopped a guy for speeding.
He said, "Do you know how fast you were going?"
"I was trying to keep up with traffic," the guy replied.
The cop said, "But there is no traffic."
And the guy answered, "That's how far behind I am."
if a toy from Toy Story died, the kid wouldn't know, and the other toys would just have to watch as their kid played with the corpse.
You know, people always say your life is worth it, but with me, it's worth-it-less.
A teacher gives her kindergarten students four flavors of lifesavers, and they have to guess the flavors. The students guess cherry, lime, and orange. They don't know the last flavor. So, the teacher gives them a hint and says, "It's what your parents call each other." [honey] But a little girl shouts and says, "OMG, they're assholes."