King jokes
A king ordered to execute a gay man.
The gay man came and said, "Please don't behead me, have pity!" The king replied, "I will have pity because I will impale you, let you enjoy your last moments."
If you think of a president as your king, then the USA got checkmated on November 22nd, 1963.
The north tower wanted some salted fries at Burger King.
They were plane as usual.
- Yo mama is so fat, when she wears a yellow dress, people yell "Taxi!"
- Yo mama is so stupid, she tried to climb Mountain Dew.
- Yo mama is so ugly, she made a blind kid cry.
- Yo mama is so old, she knew Burger King when he was still a prince.
- Yo mama is so poor, she can't even afford to pay attention.
Ching chong China.
Jing jong Japan.
Ting tong Taiwan.
Hing hong Hong Kong.
King kong Korea.
You wanna know proof that cats don't always land on their feet? Well then, watch The Lion King.
What did the racist Catholic priest say?
"Martin Luther? Not my king!"
Here is a story, my best friend was Chinese, his name was Chong-king. I took him to a restaurant one day and he said, "I am Chong-king." I said I know your name is Chong-king, within a few minutes he just randomly died making weird noises and turning blue by every second.
Anyone know what happened?
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. All the kings horses and all the kings men, said "Fuck him, he's only an egg."
Guess what you get when you cross a dark side and your king?
Boy, if you don't get your "I'm Burger King with my Burger Queen!"
Your mom is so hairy that King Kong got jealous of her.
Why is Chloe's forehead so big? Because her forehead is king-size.
Kingly discussion?
"Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.... All the king's horses and all the king's men, COULDN'T PUT HUMPTY TOGETHER AGAIN."
"Rock-a-bye, baby on the treetop when the wind blows the cradle will rock when the bough breaks the cradle will fall and down will come baby cradle and all
Rock-a-bye, baby on the treetop when the wind blows the cradle will rock
when the bough breaks the cradle will fall and down will come baby cradle and all"
Anyone else finding the hidden horror in these?
His hairline is so ugly that Martin Luther King had a dream about it.
Someone was throwing Stephen King books at everyone. I had no idea why though...
Then IT hit me.
Your hairline's so messed up that even Martin Luther King Jr. couldn't have a dream about it.
Little Johnny is my son, and he got hit by a semi-truck owned by a Russian. Now I am on my way on a nuclear submarine with a Burger King Whopper to Moscow, then take revenge for little Johnny!
Q: What do Burger King and Michael Jackson have in common?
A: They put meat on five-year-old buns.