Two mates walk into a bar.
Mate 1: "Shit! Look at that spider over there!"
Mate 2: "Whateverrrrrrr."
Mate 1: "No, seriously, it's bloody massive!"
Mate 2: "(Turns around) Shit, that's huge, I thought you were joking."
Mate 1: "No, I'm Fred King, Jo King's brother ;-)"
Q: What do American beer and canoes have in common?
A: Fu@king close to water!
You know what the yin and yang looked like before Martin Luther King Jr.?
There was none, it was all white!
How did Stephen Hawking die?
Someone unplugged the router.
Who’s the roundest knight at King Arthur’s round table?
Circumference.
Where do Dairy Queen and Burger King go after dinner?
White Castle.
I saw Stephen Hawking using an ATM. It is nice to see he had found someone before he shut down.
What does Stephen King call his wife...
The black hole.
Time for a story: There are 500 bricks on a plane, one falls off. How many are left? 499.
What are the 3 steps to putting an elephant in a refrigerator? Open fridge, put in elephant, close fridge.
What are the 4 steps to putting a giraffe in a fridge? Open fridge, take out elephant, put in giraffe, close fridge.
The lion king is having a birthday party. All the animals attend except one, who is it? Giraffe, he's stuck in the fridge.
Sally wants to cross an alligator infested river. There is no bridge and the only way she can get across is by swimming. She swims across safely, how? The alligators where at the birthday party.
Sally dies anyway. How? She got hit in the head by a flying brick.
If a king farts, is it a noble gas?
Simba was walking too slow so I told him to Mufasa.
Where do the Borg eat fast food?
Borger King.
Why didn't anyone react when the king farted? -- It was a noble gas.
Yo mama so old, she knew Burger King when he was a prince.
