How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant?
He forgot to wrap his Whopper.
Q: What do American beer and canoes have in common?
A: Fu@king close to water!
How did Stephen Hawking die?
Someone unplugged the router.
Who’s the roundest knight at King Arthur’s round table?
Circumference.
Where do Dairy Queen and Burger King go after dinner?
White Castle.
What does Stephen King call his wife...
The black hole.
Time for a story: There are 500 bricks on a plane, one falls off. How many are left? 499.
What are the 3 steps to putting an elephant in a refrigerator? Open fridge, put in elephant, close fridge.
What are the 4 steps to putting a giraffe in a fridge? Open fridge, take out elephant, put in giraffe, close fridge.
The lion king is having a birthday party. All the animals attend except one, who is it? Giraffe, he's stuck in the fridge.
Sally wants to cross an alligator infested river. There is no bridge and the only way she can get across is by swimming. She swims across safely, how? The alligators where at the birthday party.
Sally dies anyway. How? She got hit in the head by a flying brick.