how it be when the new guy takes too long... hay Danny, its me Johnny. Johnny: boss says to kill the guy in red. point the gun at his head. Danny: ok target locked. 3... 2... 1... bang. Johnny: danny hope you did not get the man in red> Danny; OH MY BRO FOR REALL.
One day there was a frantic call at the fire department:
"Help me, help me! There is a cat meowing nearby. It is going to hurt me, it's going to kill me, can you help me, and send the fire squad right away?"
"Take it easy, cats don’t hurt us, just relax and wait until he leaves."
"You don’t understand it is going to bite me, it is going to kill me, it is going to be fatal!"
"Cats aren’t venomous or in any other way dangerous, now who is calling?"
"I’m Indy's parrot you twit! Now help me! please help, please help!"
whats the best way to tell your friend you hate them? Option 1: Kill them Option 2: walk away Option 3: kill eachother. Me: why can't i just kms and leave them the pain?
So I bus crashes killing everyone on the bus and god feels so bad that he gives each one a wish so the first person comes up and she wants to be beautiful so god makes her beautiful and she goes into heaven next person comes up and he says I want to be beautiful as well as the last man in the back begins laughing a little so this goes on everyone becoming beautiful until god asked the last person what they want and he said I want everyone in front of me to be ugly again! so god had to call the based department and gave him everything that last guy wanted
Scratches on an icy road and kills or 50 people on the bus and when they get to heaven God feel so bad for them and grants them all one wish the first lady in the line was always worried about her looks so she wish to be beautiful and the guy behind her couldn’t think of what to want to wish about so he also wish to be beautiful but this keep on going but the guy at the end of the line started to laugh when he got to God he said God says what’s what is your one wish my son I wish you can make them all ugly again
My newly wed wife is a porn star. She would probably kill me if she found out.
How do you stop a school soother from killing you? Tell him you don’t believe in dog
I was reading the new and read that a kid killed his family and when they interviewed him he said he wanted to become Batman
Why did hitter kill himself
I respect cancer more than I respect depression. At least cancer has the balls to kill you himself.
Why Do you like cream instead of bugs
Because bugs can kill you
“I want to kill my family” -realises-
I got the newest Call of Duty game! I got a 200 kill streak, then I went home and played COD.
I'll kill a bitch like the policeman did to that white women he chopped her up and put her in the woods the suck fuck.
What's white and annoying at breakfast? An avalanche.
Why did little Suzy fall off the swing? She got hit by an axe.
Why did little Billy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.
How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.
if you hit a child that's child abuse. if you hit a family member that's abuse. if you kill either, it's murder for some reason. if it's a whole family, its genocide for another reason.
Piggy killed u witha bat because he is fat 0-0
What's worse than a failed suicide you ask? I fail suicide cuz you forgot to do the dishes and ur parents come after you and they're the ones to kill you not yourself
If you kill someone, that's murder. If you kill a family member, that's still murder. If you kill a child, that's "child abuse"
why is Delta jealous? Because Omnicron took the final kill.
