Kids jokes
Apparently, as a 4-year-old, Hitler was saved from drowning in the river Passau by a local priest.
Goes to show once more that a lot of problems would be solved if priests could just keep their hands off kids.
Ooh, I wonder what's on this browser. *clicks* "How to tell your kid they're adopted."
Tibia honest, it takes a lot of spine to memorize all the bones in the skeletal system. I mean, there's a skele-ton of em! You gotta be boned up for the skeletal system exam, buddy chum pal. Now that was a humerus ribtickling skelepun. Besides, if ya don't know all of the bones in the skeletal system, get boned, fucking numbskull. Did those tickle your funny bone? Now I've been working down to the bone typing these puns, kid. Now if you hate all these, I won't be bothered, I got thick skin! But first, lemme take a skelfie in the skelevator playing my trom-bone. Now, I gotta go to Grillby's. They got a discount on spare-ribs. Bone-voyage, my homeslice breadslice dawg.
Kids are like a box of chocolates, they taste so good and you never know what you are going to get.
When you're playing online with your friend, then you hear a kid scream: "No, Dad, please stop!" Scream ends with a gunshot.
New Teacher: I was an orphan as a kid.
Students: Damn.
Teacher: Is anyone missing?
Students: Your parents!
Never buy an epileptic kid light-up Sketchers.
What is an emo kid's favorite game?
Hangman.
Why have kids? Just go get one now, no nine-month delay.
When you're the only one nice to the quiet kid.
Kid: "I like you... don't go to school tomorrow."
What do emo kids and bananas have in common?
They both hang on trees.
What do you call an autistic kid going down the stairs in a wheelchair?
Hot Wheels!
What is the difference between an old chest and a kid? One doesn't cry when you drop it in the basement.
What do you call a white kid at the back of the class?
School shooter.
How do you get black kids to stop jumping off the bed?
You put Velcro on the ceiling.
How do you get the black kids down?
You invite the Mexicans over.
Once there was this kid that wanted to shower with his dad, so his dad said yes. Then he asked, "What is that?" and his dad said it's a chow chow train.
The next day, he wanted to shower with his mom, so she said yes. He asked again, "What is that?" and she said it was a tunnel with light.
The same day, he wanted to sleep with them, and they said yes.
In the middle of the night, he woke up and told his mom to turn on the light because the chow chow train is going in.
What does a kid and wine have in common?
Shit, I forgot, but they're both locked in my cellar right now.
Kid: "I fucked your mom."
Orphan: "What's a mom?"
Why was the emo kid thrown out of the amusement park?
He kept cutting in line.
What do you think would fall to the ground first, an emo kid or a leaf?
The leaf. The rope would stop the emo kid.