Kids jokes

What's the difference between a normal kid and an emo kid?

One has a functioning neck.

Me walking in to the office:

Principal: Tell me what you did?

Me: I told the special ed kid that the 4th story window was an end portal...

I saw a depressed kid and I gave him a lamp to lighten up his day.

She responds: “See that man over there with no arms? Tell him to clap.”

The kid replies: “But, Mom, I’m blind!”

Mom: “Exactly.”

Yesterday I saw an orphan kid playing GTA and told him he can't get 5 stars because he ain't wanted.

When you tell an Asian kid it’s raining cats and dogs and he’s like, “Just open your mouth and close your eyes!”

I have a stepladder because my real ladder left when I was just a kid.

Oh wait, I'm thinking of...

Bro, I gave a suicidal kid Nikes... he just did it, lol.

When I'm chilling and a little kid ruins my moment.

My mom and dad: KIDS COME DOWNSTAIRS TO EAT! Me: What's for dinner? Mom and Dad: Food.

The next day KIDS COME DOWNSTAIRS FOR FOOD! My brother and sister: What's for dinner? Me: Food ;-;

I asked the orphan kid if his mom is hot. He just started crying.

What do you call a kid in a wheelchair?

TIMMAHHHH!

I bet the emo kids are jealous when they go to a funeral.

+1 like = 1 kid in my basement.

+1 follower = 1 kid in my Microwave.

+1 Comet.

Follow for candy, kids.

Like for pizza, kids.

Comment for kids.

Yo mama is so fat, when she wore yellow, the kids thought they missed the bus.

I shouted at a kid. I told him to get his parents.

It was the last time I worked at an orphanage, 🤣.

Yo mama's so ugly, even the kid in the wheelchair ran.

Hear the one about the deaf kid?

He didn't.

What’s the difference between Michael Jackson and a shopping bag?

One is dangerous for kids if put on their face, the other one is used to carry groceries.