Kids jokes
My brother eats water from the pig factory at 1:00 a.m., and blames a deaf kid, so he ended up going to solitary.
What do you get when you mix LSD and birth control? A trip without kids.
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?
Answer: Special forces.
If an emo kid takes an over-the-counter medication, will they be happy?
Q: How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? A: They put a plunger in the toilet.
Q: How many kids did Helen Keller have? A: None, the plunger went all the way up.
A leaf and an emo kid fall from a tree, who hits the ground first? The leaf, because the rope stopped the emo kid.
What do you call a kid hanging? An emo kid!
Ugly kid, people keep saying I'm ugly.
Me: They're certainly not wrong.
I was in bio when my teacher asked what would happen if all predators were gone in an ecosystem.
The kid in the back raised his hand and said, "So what IS gonna happen to you?"
How do you surprise a blind kid?
Put a plunger in the toilet.
Who comes once a year and makes your kids cry?
Rapey Santa.
What do autistic kids and birds have in common?
They both flap their arms.
My boy is so distracted and the kids are doing great. I will be make $500000.
Teacher: Here, have candy.
Kid: No, I’m too fat.
Teacher: Shut up, or I’m gonna fail you.
*Next week*
Teacher: Okay kids, get off the floor and go back to your seats.
Kid: I’m too fat to get up.
Teacher: Don’t you remember what I said?
Kid: Yep, elephants don’t forget.
What did Osama Bin Laden's kids not inherit after his death?
His hide-and-seek skills.
Orphan: I want to kill my parents.
Random kid: I don’t think you have the facilities to do that, big man.
The emo kid's mom went to jail because the kid was hung.
Some kid with parents: "Knock, knock."
Orphan: "Who's there?"
Some kid with parents: "Not your parents."
Alright, so I have a few orphan jokes. I'm gonna put them all in one message.
Why can't orphans be gay? They have no one to call "daddy."
Why can't orphans go on a field trip? Parent signature: ______
New teacher: I used to be an orphan as a kid. Students: hahaha Teacher: Is anyone missing? Students: No one, just your parents.
Why did the orphan become a prostitute? They kept calling everyone "daddy."
Why do orphans have the iPhoneX? Because it has no home button.
"Jordan, motherfucker, your face looks like a slut, and your life is trash. Stop picking on kids and LEAVE THEM HELL ALONE!"