Kids jokes
Teacher: "Do you guys want to get in trouble?"
Kid named Teacher: *
Q: How do you knock out 26 kids in one punch?
A: You give them a Sandy Hook.
What kind of punch do little kids give to other little kids? The Sandy Hook.
So Steven Hawking walks into a bar...
Just kidding!
The Emo kid was late to his flight, so he needed to cut to the chase.
Why are emo kids the best jumpers?
Because they never fall down.
Poles are as straight as adopted kids' parents.
I asked a kid where their parents were...
Lol
How do terrorists feed their kids?
"Here comes the airplane... and then the second!"
Kids are cute, not even joking. Wanking is easy around them.
Why did the kid bring a ladder to school?
Because he wanted to go to high school.
Silence is golden. Unless you have kids, then silence is suspicious.
What do emo kids and apples have in common?
They both hang off trees.
Dad: Are you gay?
Kid: Yes.
10 days later.
Kid: I’m going to my girlfriend's house.
Dad: I thought you were gay?
Kid: What’s wrong with you? He’s the girly girl of our relationship, dumba**.
Dad: Don’t swear and okay, bud.
I made this up.
I was watching a school baseball game, and I was yelling at a kid to take it home. He took the bat and threw it, and then ran away. I asked the teacher/coach what the problem was, and he said the kid was an orphan, and I started laughing so hard.
Later that night, I wondered where he stormed off to after he threw the bat, and I thought to myself, "Not home."
Some kid: Hey, did you know there's an orphanage down the street?!
Me: NO WAY! Wanna check it out?
Kid: NO, IT'S HAUNTED!!
Me: Haunted my ass, let's go!
Kid: Wait, isn't your house also haunted???
Me: Yea
Your mama is so fat that when she went to run in a yellow jumpsuit, the kids thought they missed the school bus.
So I went up to a crying kid and asked, "Where's your mommy?"
God, I love working at an orphanage.
Why doesn't Santa have kids? Because he only comes once a year.
I saw a kid crying yesterday, so I asked him, "Where are your parents?"
Bad move, I got fired from my job at the Orphanage.