Kids jokes

Disabled

I went up to the blind kid and punched him and said bet you didn't see that coming

Boy

A young boy enters a barber shop, and the barber whispers to his customer, "This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you."

The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, "Which do you want, son?" The boy takes the quarters and leaves.

"What did I tell you?" said the barber. "That kid never learns!"

Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream parlor.

"Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?"

The boy licked his cone and replied:

"Because the day I take the dollar the game is over!"

Grandma

Kid: But, Mom, I don't want to see Grandma.

Mom: Shut up and keep digging.

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  • Memes

    Michael Jackson

    During a phone call:

    "Hey, is Michael Jackson in Miami with his manager?"

    "Actually, he's off to Tampa with the kids."

    Orphan

    So there's an orphan in a hospital, and the doctor walks up and says, "Sorry, kid, but this is a family hospital."

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  • Emo kid

    What's the difference between an emo kid and a pack of Oreos? The bar code on the emo kid gets longer every day.

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  • Dark Humor

    Kid asks, "What is dark humor?" Me *points*, "See that guy across the street..." Kid: "I can't... I'm blind." Me: "Exactly."

    Orphan

    Why don’t orphans and Chinese kids play baseball. The orphans can’t find home and the Chinese kid will eat the bat.

    Son

    "Sir, I'm afraid your son can't attend our swimming lessons anymore."

    "Why not?"

    "He keeps peeing in the pool."

    "Well, all kids pee in the pool."

    "Not from the diving board!"

    Sex

    The teacher asks her class, "What is sex?" and Little Jonny stands up and says, "Sex is the temptation caused by the sensation when a boy sticks his location into a girl's destination. Did you get my explanation or do you need a demonstration?" and the teacher fainted.

    Michael Jackson

    What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a plastic bag? One's made of plastic and dangerous for kids to play with, and the other carries groceries.

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