Kids jokes
The depressed kid walked into the counselor's office.
"I'm feeling like killing myself," he said.
"Oh no! Don't worry, sweetie, just hang in there!," the counselor responded.
I bought an orphan kid an iPhone.
Guess what? It had no home button.
How does a disabled kid walk to school?
He wishes he had the facilities to.
School teacher: "Hey kid, why don't you just go home to your family?"
Orphan: "My family never came back for me."
School teacher: "Your daddy must've really needed that milk."
What were the Fortnite kid's last words? "I didn't know pumps are back in the game!"
That one stupid kid in class :
Why does Michael Jackson do positions with kids in photos? Because they won’t do the same for him.
I hate when my brother dates other people.
Just kidding! 😵😵😵😵
What did the kid say to the emo?
"Don't leave me hanging!"
I don't see why people say emo kids never hangout.
Your kid is so annoying, he makes his Happy Meal cry.
Me: "I like kids."
When the school shooter asks the autistic kid which hostage he wants to rape, and he looks at you like 😋.
A man marries a blonde chick, lives a happy life together, and the man asks his wife if she wants kids. She says "yes".
So, a couple of years go by, and they have one boy and one girl. They go to school, go home with their report cards, and the dad asks what their grades were. The son says he's not doing well, same with the daughter. They ask why they're doing so bad in school, and the dad replies with "ask your mother that question!"
Q: How do you get the retard kid out of the tree?
A: Wave at him.
Once upon a time, there was a magician named Daniel. He usually did gigs for children, and this time he was working at a kid's birthday party. He walked in and said, "Hi boys and girls, my name is Daniel." He performed multiple tricks, each one amazing the children. Then, he said, "And for my final trick; I will disappear!" He lifted up a blanket and when it fell down he was gone.
Then, the birthday boy said, "Hey, he's like my dad."
"Really?" asked a little girl.
"I guessed?" he said back, "My dad wasn't a magician, but he disappeared. I haven't seen him since...."
Where do rape victims buy their clothes from?
The kids section.
Kid: Mom, what’s dark humor?
Mom: Do you see that man without arms over there? Tell him to clap.
Kid: But, Mom, I’m blind!
Mom: Exactly.
So I became a teacher in a school for disabled children.
A kid wanted to ask me a question, so I told him to stand while he address me. 💀
What do priests and doctors have in common?
They both do physicals on kids.
I got my orphan kid a phone. She was pressing the home button, but it didn't work.