Kids jokes

What do you call an autistic kid with a gun? Glock 46.

I hate when my brother dates other people.

Just kidding! 😵😵😵😵

What were the Fortnite kid's last words? "I didn't know pumps are back in the game!"

How does a disabled kid walk to school?

He wishes he had the facilities to.

What did the kid say to the emo?

"Don't leave me hanging!"

School teacher: "Hey kid, why don't you just go home to your family?"

Orphan: "My family never came back for me."

School teacher: "Your daddy must've really needed that milk."

I don't see why people say emo kids never hangout.

Why does Michael Jackson do positions with kids in photos? Because they won’t do the same for him.

Your kid is so annoying, he makes his Happy Meal cry.

Me: "I like kids."

When the school shooter asks the autistic kid which hostage he wants to rape, and he looks at you like 😋.

Q: How do you get the retard kid out of the tree?

A: Wave at him.

Once upon a time, there was a magician named Daniel. He usually did gigs for children, and this time he was working at a kid's birthday party. He walked in and said, "Hi boys and girls, my name is Daniel." He performed multiple tricks, each one amazing the children. Then, he said, "And for my final trick; I will disappear!" He lifted up a blanket and when it fell down he was gone.

Then, the birthday boy said, "Hey, he's like my dad."

"Really?" asked a little girl.

"I guessed?" he said back, "My dad wasn't a magician, but he disappeared. I haven't seen him since...."

Why wouldn’t Mrs. Grapes leave her children behind?

Because she loves raisin kids.

When you're sitting in class and the quiet kid yells, "Lovely day, isn't it?" ... and you see a Glock shape in his pocket.

What do priests and doctors have in common?

They both do physicals on kids.

So I became a teacher in a school for disabled children.

A kid wanted to ask me a question, so I told him to stand while he address me. 💀

Kid: Mom, what’s dark humor?

Mom: Do you see that man without arms over there? Tell him to clap.

Kid: But, Mom, I’m blind!

Mom: Exactly.

I got my orphan kid a phone. She was pressing the home button, but it didn't work.

Me: I know why you don't have friends.

Kid: Why?

Me: Because you can't even figure that out.