New Teacher: "I was an orphan as a kid."
Students: "OOOF"
Teacher: "Is anyone missing?"
Students: "Your Parents."
Kids Jokes
Give a blind kid a gun and tell him it's a hair dryer.
- I think you're EGGcellent.
+ Wow... You really CRACK ME UP with that joke. I think you're a EGGxtraordinary comedian.
- Really? Are you done yet?.
+ Are you kidding? I have a DOZEN of them.
I gave a blind kid a gun and told him it was a hair dryer.
People keep telling me they hope Kenny never has kids.
I don't think that's a worry. His mom is much too old to get pregnant.
When the school shooter kills the teacher and the autistic kid declares communism
Once upon a time, there was a magician named Daniel. He usually did gigs for children, and this time he was working at a kid's birthday party. He walked in and said, "Hi boys and girls, my name is Daniel." He performed multiple tricks, each one amazing the children. Then, he said, "And for my final trick; I will disappear!" He lifted up a blanket and when it fell down he was gone.
Then, the birthday boy said, "Hey, he's like my dad."
"Really?" asked a little girl.
"I guessed?" he said back, "My dad wasn't a magician, but he disappeared. I haven't seen him since...."
Kid starts shooting people in school, teacher asks “why are you doing that”. He responds, “I wanted to paint the walls red for Christmas”
What has 4 legs and 1 arm?
A pitbull dog coming back from the kids playground.
What do you call an autistic kid that’s good at art?
Artistic.
Kid with Cancer: "When I get older, I want to be a movie star or a singer."
Nurse: *Laughs*
Kid: "Why are you laughing?"
Nurse: "When I get OLDER."
Proceeds to laugh.
Dark humor is like a kid with cancer.
It never gets old.
Why can’t orphanage kids play baseball?
Cause they don’t know where home is.
How do you get a fat kid to lose weight?
You pay the ice cream man to keep on driving. IDK.
What do you call a kid in a wheelchair on fire?
Hot wheels.
Why does a leaf fall faster than an emo kid? Because the emo hangs itself.
This guy looked down the aisle and asked, "Hey, are those kids all yours?" And I replied: "No, I work for a condom company, and these kids are just all of my complaints."
How do you keep a blind kid busy? Give him sandpaper and tell him it's a find-a-word. 😂🤣
I went up to the blind kid and said, "Can you get that for me?" and he said, "I can't, I'm blind." And so I said, "I see."
Teacher: "Ok class, what animal jumps the highest?"
Kid: "A leopard."
Quiet kid: "No, it's emo kids. Some of them are still in the air."
Kid: "Broooooooooooo."
