Kids jokes

I came home from school one day and told my cat a kid at school said I was an idiot and told me to go kick rocks, so I did, except I kicked him, not the rocks, and I called him the idiot for not moving out of the way.

Three guys are on a plane: one is Asian, one is Mexican, and the other is an American. The pilot says, "There is too much weight on the plane, you all need to throw something off." So the Mexican threw out a burrito and said, "I have plenty of these where I come from." Then the Asian threw out some rice and said, "I have plenty of these in my country." The American threw out a bomb and said, "I have a lot of these in my country."

The plane crashes anyway, and the three men start to walk away from the crash. As they were walking, they found a boy crying. They asked him what was wrong, and he said, "A ton of burritos fell out of the sky and got me all messy." The men started walking away and soon enough they found another boy crying. They asked him what was wrong, and he said, "A ton of rice fell out of the sky and shredded all my clothes." The guys knew who did it but avoided the trouble. They kept on walking and found a kid laughing so hard he was on the ground, and they asked what had been so funny. The boy said, "MY GRANDPA FARTED AND THE HOUSE BLEW UP!!!"

When I was a kid, I used to read a lot. I mainly grew up reading stories by Shakespeare, especially the story Romeo & Juliet. That one in particular taught me a valuable life lesson. It taught me to not be surprised when my girlfriend killed herself.

- I think you're EGGcellent.

+ Wow... You really CRACK ME UP with that joke. I think you're a EGGxtraordinary comedian.

- Really? Are you done yet?.

+ Are you kidding? I have a DOZEN of them.

What is the real reason why men jack off? They just enjoy killing kids.

What school does a depressed middle school kid go to?

KMS.

(some kid crying because hes an orphan and kids are bulling him) teacher:HEY i was a orphan to so if you bully him your basicly trying to bully me too me:OOF teacher:now is somebody not here? me:your parents

I ran over some crippled kids. I told [them] to walk it off!

What game do emo kids love the most?

Hangman.

It’s OK if emo kids always hang from the trees, but if we do it, it’s considered against the law.

Hi, I gave a blind kid a gun. I told him it was a hairdryer.

How is a child molester and Harambe the same? They both get shot for touching little kids.

My grandpa said, "You kids rely on too much electronics." I said, well we will see about that. *unplugging life support* me: *oops*

Walk up to the quiet kid and tell him to hang in there. Trust me, you won’t regret it.

Call a group of emo kids Suicide Squad.

When the quiet kid gets angry and the sped kid sees your hiding spot.

Bing, bang, boom!

There was a little kid crying in the park today. I asked him where his parents were. Now I realize, man, I love my job.

Why was the emo kid thrown out of the amusement park?

He kept cutting in line.

I was walking till I saw a kid sitting on the street. I walked over there and said, "Where are your parents?" He cried even more.

Oh, I just love talking to orphans.

What do blind kids and orphans have in common?

Neither of 'em can see their parents.