Kids jokes

What's the difference between a rubber and Michael Jackson? Nothing, kids touch them both.

What's the worst thing that can happen to schools?

Quiet kids.

So Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

I’m just kidding.

What did the momma grape say to the pappa grape?

"Raisin' our kids is usually pretty fun, but sometimes they get sunburn and I have to take them to the doctor for dry skin."

What do you say to a depressed special kid?

“Why so down?”

when you see a depressed kid, you walk up and say "wassup my lil barcode"

A kid asks his dad why his name is Experience. The dad says, "That's what we give our mistakes."

An American bully goes up to an English kid and says, "You're ugly!"

And the English kid says, "Well, wanna know why you can't play Jenga?"

"Why?" says the bully.

"Because you haven't got a tower."

Hi, I gave a blind kid a gun. I told him it was a hairdryer.

My grandpa said, "You kids rely on too much electronics." I said, well we will see about that. *unplugging life support* me: *oops*

I ran over some crippled kids. I told [them] to walk it off!

What school does a depressed middle school kid go to?

KMS.

What do you get when you mix birth control and LSD?

A trip without kids.

There was a little kid crying in the park today. I asked him where his parents were. Now I realize, man, I love my job.

Why was the emo kid thrown out of the amusement park?

He kept cutting in line.

What do blind kids and orphans have in common?

Neither of 'em can see their parents.

Q: What do blind kids and orphans have in common?

A: Neither of them get to see their parents.

(some kid crying because hes an orphan and kids are bulling him) teacher:HEY i was a orphan to so if you bully him your basicly trying to bully me too me:OOF teacher:now is somebody not here? me:your parents

A kid in a wheelchair got hurt yesterday. I got detention yesterday because I told him to walk it off.

What is the real reason why men jack off? They just enjoy killing kids.