Kids jokes
Disney just released a new film about a poor kid with cancer. It’s called Finding Chemo.
Three guys are on a plane: one is Asian, one is Mexican, and the other is an American. The pilot says, "There is too much weight on the plane, you all need to throw something off." So the Mexican threw out a burrito and said, "I have plenty of these where I come from." Then the Asian threw out some rice and said, "I have plenty of these in my country." The American threw out a bomb and said, "I have a lot of these in my country."
The plane crashes anyway, and the three men start to walk away from the crash. As they were walking, they found a boy crying. They asked him what was wrong, and he said, "A ton of burritos fell out of the sky and got me all messy." The men started walking away and soon enough they found another boy crying. They asked him what was wrong, and he said, "A ton of rice fell out of the sky and shredded all my clothes." The guys knew who did it but avoided the trouble. They kept on walking and found a kid laughing so hard he was on the ground, and they asked what had been so funny. The boy said, "MY GRANDPA FARTED AND THE HOUSE BLEW UP!!!"
When I was a kid, I used to read a lot. I mainly grew up reading stories by Shakespeare, especially the story Romeo & Juliet. That one in particular taught me a valuable life lesson. It taught me to not be surprised when my girlfriend killed herself.
- I think you're EGGcellent.
+ Wow... You really CRACK ME UP with that joke. I think you're a EGGxtraordinary comedian.
- Really? Are you done yet?.
+ Are you kidding? I have a DOZEN of them.
What game do emo kids love the most?
Hangman.
It’s OK if emo kids always hang from the trees, but if we do it, it’s considered against the law.
What did the blind kid get for Christmas? He hasn’t seen it yet...
What did the kids with no arms get? He doesn’t know, he’s still trying to figure out how to open it. :))))
Boy Scout...
- A kid who dressed like an idiot.
- An idiot who dressed like a kid.
I ran over some crippled kids. I told [them] to walk it off!
What school does a depressed middle school kid go to?
KMS.
What's the difference between a rubber and Michael Jackson? Nothing, kids touch them both.
What's the worst thing that can happen to schools?
Quiet kids.
What do you say to a depressed special kid?
“Why so down?”
There was a little kid crying in the park today. I asked him where his parents were. Now I realize, man, I love my job.
What do you call a gay kid that is on fire?
LGBBQ
What do blind kids and orphans have in common?
Neither of 'em can see their parents.
How is a child molester and Harambe the same? They both get shot for touching little kids.
Why did the emo kid not cross the road?
He was waiting for a car.
Oh, Lois, that was more scary than Michael Jackson without pants in front of a kid!
Why was the emo kid thrown out of the amusement park?
He kept cutting in line.