Kids jokes

What did the momma grape say to the pappa grape?

"Raisin' our kids is usually pretty fun, but sometimes they get sunburn and I have to take them to the doctor for dry skin."

So Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

I’m just kidding.

What is the real reason why men jack off? They just enjoy killing kids.

What game do emo kids love the most?

Hangman.

If a deaf kid swears in sign language, does his mom wash his hands with soap?

It’s OK if emo kids always hang from the trees, but if we do it, it’s considered against the law.

What school does a depressed middle school kid go to?

KMS.

I ran over some crippled kids. I told [them] to walk it off!

An American bully goes up to an English kid and says, "You're ugly!"

And the English kid says, "Well, wanna know why you can't play Jenga?"

"Why?" says the bully.

"Because you haven't got a tower."

(some kid crying because hes an orphan and kids are bulling him) teacher:HEY i was a orphan to so if you bully him your basicly trying to bully me too me:OOF teacher:now is somebody not here? me:your parents

A kid in a wheelchair got hurt yesterday. I got detention yesterday because I told him to walk it off.

What did the blind kid get for Christmas? He hasn’t seen it yet...

What did the kids with no arms get? He doesn’t know, he’s still trying to figure out how to open it. :))))

Boy Scout...

- A kid who dressed like an idiot.

- An idiot who dressed like a kid.

My grandpa said, "You kids rely on too much electronics." I said, well we will see about that. *unplugging life support* me: *oops*

What do you say to a depressed special kid?

“Why so down?”

Oh, Lois, that was more scary than Michael Jackson without pants in front of a kid!

What's the difference between a rubber and Michael Jackson? Nothing, kids touch them both.

It did not rain very often when Chuck Norris was a kid.

Why?

Because his favorite childhood song was "Rain Rain Go Away."

If an Indian kid is conceived in incest, would that make them OMbred?

I think my family is racist.

I brought a black girl home, and my wife went crazy and told me to pack my bags, and my kids were upset.