Kids jokes
What did the dad say to the kid?
"U got to be kidding me."
I made this up.
I was watching a school baseball game, and I was yelling at a kid to take it home. He took the bat and threw it, and then ran away. I asked the teacher/coach what the problem was, and he said the kid was an orphan, and I started laughing so hard.
Later that night, I wondered where he stormed off to after he threw the bat, and I thought to myself, "Not home."
Kid: Knock, knock.
Orphan: Who’s there?
Kid: Not your parents.
What does a bad friend give a blind kid for his birthday?
Give him a gun and tell him it's a hairdryer.
I got suspended at school today. I lit a kid's wheelchair on fire and called him "Hot Wheels."
If a kid refused to go to bed, does that make them guilty of resisting a rest?
Kid: I want to be Batman.
Okay, when he gets home, his parents are dead.
What do kids call a balanced meal?
A hamburger in each hand! XD XD XD XD
How do you call an autistic kid with a pistol?
Special forces.
Son to mother: "Mom, all the kids in the school are making fun of me because I am still a virgin."
Mother: "Well, start giving them bad grades, and they will stop."
Q: How do you make an emo kid happy?
A: Give them a Happy Meal.
I went to jail because I gave the orphan kid a calendar with 363 days.
(I deleted Mother's Day and Father's Day.)
What is a show for kids?
Barney.
Teacher: What do you want when you grow up?
That depressed kid in class: Dead.
School would be a lot different if the quiet kid had an RPG.
White 40 year olds love little white kids, and so does Trump! The biggest hands to touch the kids and his daughter!
This kid yelled "Jenga" when we were watching a 9/11 documentary.
Emo kids are so good at kicking football. I hear they have good hang time.
What do you call a kid on a wheelchair?
Hot Wheels.
When I saw your hairline, I thought I saw kid Jason Voorhees.