Kids jokes
Kid: Hey, Mum, why are we pushing the car off the cliff?
Mum: Shut up, son, you’ll wake your father!
In the morning at 6:30 AM,
Teacher: Who fought in World War I?
Me: Trump & Biden.
Teacher: Oh ok... well good job class, see you tomorrow and study your books.
After school,
Teacher: Oh God those kids know nothing.
"She looks at her clock."
Teacher: And now I am sewed.
When the emo kid went to high five the tree, the tree left him hanging.
FUCK EMO KIDS!
I went to the mental hospital. I asked one of the kid what its favorite animal was. They said a bird. I asked for a reason. It's because they both jump off roofs.
What do the Twin Towers and genders have in common?
There were two when we were kids, but now it’s a touchy subject.
What did the dad say to the kid?
Nothing, he went to get the milk.
To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos.
Then I made pizza because they don’t live in a swing state.
Kid: Dad, what's an orphan?
Dad:
I saw a kid sitting on the curb and I asked him, "Are you an orphan?"
He said, "Yeah, what gave me away?" "You're parents did."
What do you call a pool full of black kids? Baths bomb.
Kid: My parents want to meet you, you wanna come over?
Orphan: Na, I'm good. I'm going to watch Home Alone. It's the only movie that I can think of that's related to me.
I put my heart and soul in my report, then my teacher says:
"Hey KIDS were going to repeat making current events about our state til we DIE."
....No wonder when kids leave school they're soulless.
RIP Meh Soul.
Q: What did the kid on the airplane say?
A: "Those are two nice towers right there."
What is a show for kids?
Barney.
Mom: They say our kid neighbor has blue blood.
Son: Really?
Also 2 hours later:
Son: Mom, the kid doesn't have blue blood.
Mom: Son, I-
What's an emo black kid called? A dark Drakie.
What does the school shooter do after he shoots a victim? He shoots more kids in them!
Our teacher told us to write a story about the life of an object that's not alive, so I wrote a story about an emo kid.
I kicked a ball at the kid in the wheelchair, and now we're playing Rocket League.
Why does the kid in the wheelchair get bullied all the time?
Because he can’t stand up for himself.