Kids jokes

How to punish a blind kid, rearrange his bedroom.

Sixty years ago, Stephen Hawking's teacher got fired for accidentally making an offensive joke. What was it? Go for your dreams, kids. Reach for the stars.

What do you call an epileptic kid eating fruits?

A blender.

Chinese kid was born before the due date. Parents name him "Sudden Lee."

People call me a bad person, but just the other day I saw a little kid crying and asked him where were his parents. I love working at the orphanage.

KFC proudly presents the kid fryer meal where our fillets are made out of kids. 😎 1 like = more kids in our fryer.

Son: Dad, am I adopted?

Father: What? No! Out of all the kids in the adoption center, do you really think I would pick you?

What happens when an emo kid loses a Kahoot? He gets a 25 kill streak.

My friend and I were walking down the street, and we saw this one disabled kid getting bullied by three other kids. Urgently, we sprinted over to help. He had no chance against the five of us.

Roses are red, violets are blue, there are kids in my basement, you'll be there soon.

Quiet kid: "I'm home!"

Parents: "What did you learn at school today?"

Quiet kid: "I've learned that I've had enough!"

What do you call a group of depressed kids?

Suicide Squad!

A depressed kid takes a drink of water and someone takes it and takes a drink. "Oh come on, the train stopped, the rope broke, I couldn't get on the building, the gun was empty, the knife was dull, the bridge was too low, and the cliff was nonexistent, and now you took the poison!"

The depressed kid getting bullied.

The bully: "You are useless."

The depressed kid: "I know."

What are the differences between Santa and Joe Biden?

The kids actually want to sit on Santa’s lap.

What do depressed kids and sloths have in common? They both hang from trees.

The depressed kid went to give a tree a high five...

...but it left him hanging.

Me: Brings in missing child.

Police: OMG this kid has been missing for 3 months. Here is your reward.

Me: Oh, cool.

NEXT DAY

Me: Brings in 8 other kids.

Police :0 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I told a kid his dad is a magician because he disappeared and never came back home.

There was a kid crying. I asked him where his parents were. He cried more. Orphanages are really fun to work at.