Kids jokes
When does a kid become an orphan?
When the parents leave.
I got in trouble today because I threw a lamp at the emo kid and said, "Lighten up!"
A teacher wanted to teach her students about self-esteem, so she asked anyone who thought they were stupid to stand up. One kid stood up, and the teacher was surprised. She didn’t think anyone would stand up, so she asked him, “Why did you stand up?” He answered, “I didn’t want to leave you standing up by yourself.”
Why do kids like bananas?
'Cause they like doing the nana.
What does a depressed kid who loves geometry use to kill themself?
A hypoteNUSE!
Why don’t I shut myself all the time?
I can only fit so many pairs of kids in my mouth and stomach at the same time.
Kid says to genie,
"I want to be like Batman!"
Kid goes home, both of them are dead.
What’s yellow and can sink a bus full of kids?
What did the teacher say to the fat Turkish kid that always ate in his class?
"You could do with Ramadan lasting all year, couldn't you?"
I gave a blind kid a gun. I told him it was a hair dryer.
Q: What did the kid say to the emo kid?
A: Don't leave me hanging!
Wife: I will leave you if you call me fat again.
Husband: Wait, dear... Don’t do it for the sake of our kid!
Wife: Kid?
Husband: Yeah, aren’t you pregnant?
Sometimes I just want to toss a flash bang into a room full of epileptic kids.
Why is Peter Pan always flying? He Neverlands!
Where do sheep go to get their hair cut? The baa-baa shop.
Why did Adele cross the road? To sing, “Hello from the other side!”
How do trees access the internet? They log in.
Did you get them? Me neither. I mean, it is worst jokes ever. I'm kidding, I actually do understand them.
My kids told me to have a good day, so I left them to their own devices and hoped for the best.
Why do orphans hate smart kids?
Because the smart kids get their parents' attention.
"I told my mom I thought parenting got easier as the kids get older, and she laughed so hard she cried a little."
Kid amogus backwards.
SUGOMA DIK!
So, this kid told me what high school he was going to and asked me if I thought he would make it in.
I said, "No, they don't have double doors."
The kid was a bit sad, so he was blue.
Teacher asked him, "Why are you so blue?"
The kid replied, "I'm not sad."
Teacher said, "No, your face actually blue."