Kids jokes
Why is the blind kid popular?
He can't see the middle fingers.
So, a mom and a dad take their son to a therapist.
“What seems to be the problem?” the therapist asked.
“Our son thinks he’s a refrigerator!” they said.
So the therapist replies, “Oh dear, that must be a problem.”
“Yeah, he sleeps with his mouth open, and the light is really bright.”
Santa's sack is big because he only comes once a year, but his sack is SO BIG after containing the lovely eggnog he has that those weigh the sleigh.
He never had kids because he comes in the chimney.
So I gave a disabled kid hot wheels. I mean cars, no I gave him literal hot wheels!
What do you call someone who kisses primary school kids?
Joshua Metcalfe
So this guy thought he was funny by pissing on the floor and not in the urinal.
Later on, I guess some kid ran into the bathroom because, well, he probably had to go, but yeah, he slipped and fell and hit his head on the urinal, so all in all it was a pretty good prank on his part.
When the school shooter enters the classroom and it's the quiet kid's dad.
If a homeschooled kid shoots his parents, does that count as a school shooting?
What's the difference between onions and children? Nothing, when you cut one everyone around you cries.
An Emo kid in a tree falls. At the same time an apple falls from the same tree, what hits the ground first? The apple would be due to the kid's rope and noose.
I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a campfire and shouted out "Hot Wheels!"
What do you call an emo kid standing outside the mall?
Anything, he'll cry no matter what you say.
Kid: Aye, Mum, I'mma do something Dad could never do.
Mum: And that is?
*Kid walks out.*
*Kid comes back in with milk.*
Mum: I'mma beat ya ass!
I don’t see why people say that emo kids don’t like to hangout. I seen them hanging all day.
The emo kid asked the tree for a high five. The tree left them hanging.
Alle kinder hedder Rune, undtagen Kurt, han hedder Rune.
All the kids are named Rune, except Kurt, he is named Rune.
What do you call a squad of emo kids?
Suicide Squad.
How do Chinese people name their kids?
They throw a wok down the stairs.
What happens when a depressed kid tries to give a tree a high five?
The tree leaves him hanging :)
She responds: “See that man over there with no arms? Tell him to clap.”
The kid replies: “But, Mom, I’m blind!”
Mom: “Exactly.”