Kids jokes
I saw a little kid on their bike before. So I ran home to see if it was mine. Mine was still chained up, so we’re good.
In English class, the teacher says, "Kids, you need to say the alphabet. Okay, Sally, you first." Sally says, "Okay, a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o p q r s t u v w x y z." The teacher says, "Good job, Sally." Then the teacher called on four other students who got it right. Then the teacher called on Little Johnny. The teacher says, "Little Johnny, say the alphabet." Little Johnny says, "b c e f g h i j k l m n o p s v w x y z." The teacher says, "No, Johnny, that's not right." Johnny says, "Oh, I forgot, u r a q t." The teacher says, "No, still not right, and thank you." Johnny says, "Oh, I’ll give you the d later." The class laughs and the teacher says, "Go to the office now."
Roses are red, violets are blue, there are kids in my basement, you'll be there soon.
It’s all fun and games at “take your kid to work day” until you realize your dad is a suicide bomber.
So a girl goes to Santa in the mall, and Santa asks what she would like for Christmas. So the kid says: “a little sister”. So then Santa says: “bring me your mother!”
What is the difference between an old chest and a kid? One doesn't cry when you drop it in the basement.
I remember when I was a kid, I thought the world used to be colorless.
I was kinda right. They used to not let colors in a lot of areas.
The depressed kid getting bullied.
The bully: "You are useless."
The depressed kid: "I know."
Chinese kid was born before the due date. Parents name him "Sudden Lee."
People call me a bad person, but just the other day I saw a little kid crying and asked him where were his parents. I love working at the orphanage.
Kid: Hey, what’s black and sneaky!
Social studies teacher: Harriet Tubman.
What do computers and white kids have in common? They don't have trouble shooting.
Son: Dad, am I adopted?
Father: What? No! Out of all the kids in the adoption center, do you really think I would pick you?
My friend and I were walking down the street, and we saw this one disabled kid getting bullied by three other kids. Urgently, we sprinted over to help. He had no chance against the five of us.
What happens when an emo kid loses a Kahoot? He gets a 25 kill streak.
What do you call an autistic kid who just saw Transformers? Autistimus Prime.
The moment when she tells you: "I'm a virgin. Be gentle!" And you tell her, "Don't worry, I used to work with kids."
Quiet kid: "I'm home!"
Parents: "What did you learn at school today?"
Quiet kid: "I've learned that I've had enough!"
What do you call a group of depressed kids?
Suicide Squad!
A depressed kid takes a drink of water and someone takes it and takes a drink. "Oh come on, the train stopped, the rope broke, I couldn't get on the building, the gun was empty, the knife was dull, the bridge was too low, and the cliff was nonexistent, and now you took the poison!"