Kids Jokes

Q. What's the difference between a normal kid and an emo kid? A. One has a functioning neck.

What do Michael Jackson and math have in common? They are both hard for kids.

Are you a school? Because I want to shoot a bunch of kids in you.

Never buy an epileptic kid light-up Sketchers.

When the emo kid hangs himself and the autistic kid thinks that it's a piñata... BATTER UP TO THE PLATE!

I know where you live.

The image is split into three sections. The top section shows a silhouette of a couple kissing at sunset and the caption reads "KIDS HAVE CRUSHES". The middle section shows a photo of a couple embracing and smiling and the caption reads "MEN HAVE GIRLFRIENDS". The bottom section shows a close up of a blacked-out Mario with glowing eyes, and the caption reads "I HAVE YOUR IP ADDRESS".

How many kids does it take to change a lightbulb?

Apparently not 27. Because my basement's still dark...

Kid: What is between mom's legs?

Dad: Paradise.

Kid: What's between your legs?

Dad: The key to paradise.

Kid: Well, you better change the lock, the neighbor has the key to.

The quiet kid starts playing "Pumped Up Kicks" in the parking lot before school.

What do pedophiles and a SpongeBob intro have in common?

Are you ready kids?

When an emo kid jumps out of a tree, what happens when he hits the ground?

Nothin' much, he just flops over an hour later when they untie the rope.

Do you know about the new movie Disney made just for cancer kids? It's called Finding Kemo.

What did Michael Jackson say to the kid on his lap? "Just beat it, just beat it."

1 like = 1 kid in my oven. I'm trying to get followers and comments, please.

what do you get when you play a country song backwards? you get your wife, your house, and your kids back.

When the school shooter leaves your classroom and the autistic kid’s sketchers light up.

What do you call a kid with cancer walking through the airport?

•Terminal

What did the mentally retarded kid get on his test?

Drool.

A white dad, a priest, and a rabbi all run out a burning school, and the dad says, “What about the kids?” and the rabbi replies to him saying, “Fuck the kids,” and the priest says, “Think we got enough time?”

"What’s your name, son?" the principal asked his student. The kid replied, “D-d-d-dav-dav-david, sir.” "Do you have a stutter?" the principal asked. The student answered, “No sir, my dad has a stutter but the guy who registered my name was a real jerk.”