Kids jokes
This guy went to the gas station to get some gas, and as he asked the cashier for gas he noticed a terrible smell. He asked what the smell was and the cashier replied, "That's your gas, cuz I farted. Now hand me the 20 bucks!"
The guy said, "No, not the kind that comes from your ass, but the kind you put in a car!" The cashier says, "That fart was worth 20 bucks, so beat it!"
Guy says, "I need real gas, nothing about your ass impresses me!" Then another guy gets in line and says, "I know the guy personally, we grew up together. Always trying to be the cool kid in school, bragging about his big horse's ass...no wonder he was always the *butt* of all jokes!"
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?
Special forces.
One man said, "The audacity on that deaf kid!"
The other man said, "Bro, does he even have audio?"
Yo mama's teeth are so yellow kids thought they were mini school buses.
I had to go to my friend's house.
I went in her basement and I saw taped mouths that are KIDS in the basement... Is my friend OK???
What did the Autistic kid say to his bully?
ARRRRRRRRR!
How do you win an argument against an emo kid?
Give him a gun, he'll just shoot himself.
A kid was asking a mother for money.
Mother: Sorry, I don't have money.
The kid kept asking the mother for money.
Mother: I already told you I don't have money.
The kid (the middle child): I'm your fucking child!
I pushed a disabled kid over, and he came crawling back to me.
Wat is a kids gajfnjafb movie? A sjdhfsdjfmksdf LOL
Why can’t the disabled kid live on the corner?
Because he’s disabled.
To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos. Then I made pizza because they do not live in a swing state.
What is a fun game for an emo kid?
Tug-o-war with a tree.
POV: The quiet kid starts playing "Pumped Up Kicks" in the parking lot before school.
:me😐
Americans: Miles per hour.
Europeans: Bullets per kid...
There were four people in a helicopter: Trump, a first-grade kid, a schoolteacher, and the Chinese leader.
There were only three parachutes. The Chinese leader takes one and jumps. The schoolteacher says she has to teach, so she jumps. Trump and the first-grader are left. Trump says, "I've lived my life; you take the last one." So the kid puts on his backpack and jumps. Trump makes it out safe.
Why did the autistic kid walk across a busy road?
He was chasing his mind and got hit by a car.
What do you call an autistic kid with a minigun?
Special forces.
Some people say I'm rude, but I think I'm pretty nice because the other day I saw this kid crying on the road and I asked him where his parents were. I just love looking at an orphanage.
How do you get a fat kid to lose weight?
You pay the ice cream man to keep driving.