Kids jokes
What is an Iraqi kid's favorite game?
Minesweeper.
I ran over three disabled kids.
"Cripple kill."
I asked a kid at my work where his parents were. He started crying. Man, I don't know what I did. I'll ask another kid at the orphanage.
When the school shooter says to get on the ground, but the sped kid thinks it's Simon Says!
Q: How do you knock out 26 kids in one punch?
A: You give them a Sandy Hook.
What do a priest and a pedo have in common?
Nothing, they both like kids.
If you are a girl and your favorite movie as a kid was Mulan, they successfully made a man out of you.
So, I was raping this girl the other night, and she said, "Please just think of my kids!" I was like, "What a freak."
What do you call a kid with Down syndrome who plays basketball?
Dribble.
Teacher: "Do you guys want to get in trouble?"
Kid named Teacher: *
What did the Asian parents say when they had a disabled kid?
Sum ting wong.
A guy is on trial for leading a mob to gang rape a woman he'd taken out for a date. His defense is that he was helping her live out a fantasy.
The DA is furious and asks him WTF gave him that idea. He said, "After the date I took her back to her house, pulled out my dick, and tried to hand it to her. She told me, 'You've gotta be fucking kidding me. Seriously, go get some help!'"
My mom and dad: KIDS COME DOWNSTAIRS TO EAT! Me: What's for dinner? Mom and Dad: Food.
The next day KIDS COME DOWNSTAIRS FOR FOOD! My brother and sister: What's for dinner? Me: Food ;-;
When I'm chilling and a little kid ruins my moment.
Bro, I gave a suicidal kid Nikes... he just did it, lol.
What is the difference between an orphan and a deaf kid?
They can't hear or speak to their parents that never came back.
I have a stepladder because my real ladder left when I was just a kid.
Oh wait, I'm thinking of...
When we were kids, we used to be afraid of the dark.
But when we grew up, the electricity bill made us afraid of the light!
Why didn’t the grape 🍇 leave her family?
Because she loved raisin' kids!
When you tell an Asian kid it’s raining cats and dogs and he’s like, “Just open your mouth and close your eyes!”