Kids jokes

Yesterday I saw an orphan kid playing GTA and told him he can't get 5 stars because he ain't wanted.

Stacy: Honey, I'm kinda new to texting, what does lol mean?

Justin: I'm not sure, "lots of love," I guess.

Margaret: Stacy, are you there? I don't know if you heard, but Amber and her three kids were killed in a car crash this morning. I'm in total shock!

Stacy: lol

I went up to the deaf kid and said, "I’m going to punch you in 3, 2, 1." And he ended up with a broken nose, and I said, "You should have listened to me!"

You see a kid on the side of the street crying, so you go up to them and say, "Where are your parents?" The kid says, "What are parents?"

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    • So, this guy, right? He has been through the worst shit in his life. He lost his house, his car, his wife, his kids, everything except his dog.

    About 2 weeks after he loses everything, he goes to apply for a job. He attends work for the first 2 weeks to get his first paycheck and then calls in sick for about a month. He comes back to his boss' office after the month is over and his boss questions him. The man claims, "Sir, I was blowing chunks." "What do you mean by 'blowing chunks'?" says the boss. The man replies with, "Chunks is the name of my dog..."

    I saw this kid who looked depressed, so I threw a torch at him. I thought I would brighten up his day.

    Are you a playground? Because I want to put my kids in you.

    I asked my kid to give me a hand. That motherfucker cried while charging his mechanical arm.

    During a phone call:

    "Hey, is Michael Jackson in Miami with his manager?"

    "Actually, he's off to Tampa with the kids."

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