Kids jokes

So I became a teacher in a school for disabled children.

A kid wanted to ask me a question, so I told him to stand while he address me. 💀

I pushed a kid in a wheelchair and said, "Hot Wheels!"

Hey, you know what I told the kid in a wheelchair?

I told him to be a stand-up comedian!

Me: "Gift a homeless kid iPhone 7."

The kid: But it has no home button.

Me: Exactly. 💀

Wanna know why the plane actually crashed?

Someone turned off flight mode.

(Or a kid just turned on airplane mode.)

I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a fire and said, "Hot Wheels!"

An orphan once said, "I will call my mum and go home."

A homeless kid once said he will go home.

Kid: Knock, knock.

Orphan: Who’s there?

Kid: Not your parents.

I told a kid in a wheelchair, "Use your nitro boosts!"

I was in class and we had to choose another term for words we use everyday. For kid, I chose "child"; for dog, I chose "pet"; and for wife, I chose "dishwasher."

The emo kid tried to give the tree a high five. Unfortunately, the tree left him hanging...

How did the emo kid compliment the other emo kid? He said, "I like your cuts G."

When Michael Jackson died, people melted him down into Lego pieces so that little kids could play with him instead.

When you're watching a 9/11 documentary, that one kid in your class finds the 97th Jenga block and knocks it down.

What did the Emo kid say to the other Emo kid?

Wait! Don’t leave me hangin’!

A man was on the street and went up to a kid wearing rags. The man asked, "Hey, are you an orphan?"

The kid said, "Yeah, what gave me away?"

The man said, "Your parents."

"Rape isn't a joke unless you watch YouTube Kids."

What happened when the emo kid gave the tree a high five? It left him hanging.

What do you call a gay kid on fire?

So, I was at a funeral the other day, and it was a school shooting mass funeral. The lady beside me asked me, “What do you think was going through their heads?” And I replied, “Probably a bullet.” She was furious and said, “How dare you! You have no idea what those kids were probably going through!” And I replied, “Well, they were going through anything the bullet was going through them.”