Kids jokes

What do computers and white kids have in common? They don't have trouble shooting.

How do Chinese people name their kids?

They throw them down the stairs and see what noise they make! WA WA WAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Teacher makes 1 kid recite the ABCs and the other count to 10.

Teacher: You can kill 2 birds with 1 stone.

Little Johnny goes home and throws a rock at two birds. One dies. He gives his dad a concussion from the rock hitting his head.

Johnny at school: You can kill a bird and give a man a concussion.

Jack and Jill went up a hill to smoke some mairawanah.

Jack got high and grabbed her thigh and said, "I know you wanna," but dumb-ass Jill forgot her pills, and now they have 12 kids.

What do Michael Jackson and Santa Claus have in common? They both let little kids sit on their lap.

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  • This mute kid was getting made fun of. I told him to speak up for himself.

    "Sir, I'm afraid your son can't attend our swimming lessons anymore."

    "Why not?"

    "He keeps peeing in the pool."

    "Well, all kids pee in the pool."

    "Not from the diving board!"

    When you're fighting with the emo kid and he brings his friends. Now you gotta fight the suicide squad.

    Why did the emo kid get kicked out of the amusement park?

    He kept cutting in line.

    I don’t see why emo kids don’t like to hang around.

    I see them hang all day.

    Alright, so I have a few orphan jokes. I'm gonna put them all in one message.

    Why can't orphans be gay? They have no one to call "daddy."

    Why can't orphans go on a field trip? Parent signature: ______

    New teacher: I used to be an orphan as a kid. Students: hahaha Teacher: Is anyone missing? Students: No one, just your parents.

    Why did the orphan become a prostitute? They kept calling everyone "daddy."

    Why do orphans have the iPhoneX? Because it has no home button.

    Why does that kid have to stay in that orphanage?

    He should just go to his mom and dad!

    "Hey, kid, why are you so fat?"

    "Why did you insult him? That's not nice."

    "It won't matter, he's deaf."