Newest Keep Jokes - Page 2 - Worst Jokes Ever

How do rappers keep their breath fresh?

With some FRESH BEATS

When I have to keep removing my
headphones because someone keeps
talking to me

What do u call a person who keeps making jokes about rappers? An annoying prick whos black dad left him as a kid

Hey I just want to give a round of applause to Shooter McFly single-handedly keeping the jokes section alive, unappreciated, well, Shooter, one person here appreciates you at least.

Expectation:
Get on
the boat

Reallity:
Make me
You lost the war so I am
going to trade you guys
for more european
muskets so that I can
keep expanding my
kindgom and be wealthier

i'll keep u
rolling all night
long
to:
from:

Me: "Why do I keep on having
strange thoughts? It's almost like
I'm going crazy"
The videos I watch at
2am:
TOYS
5 Little Hitlers are jumping on the bed

A blind pilot walks into a plane waving his walking stick

The passengers all look at each other in disbelief. The flight attendant gets on the PA and says,

"Ladies and gentlemen, as you can see, the captain is legally blind, but rest assured, he is one of the best pilots in the world with over six thousand successful flights."

Next the co-pilot makes his way to the plane and he is also blind and uses his walking stick to make it to the cabin. The flight attendant gets on the PA and says,

"Ladies and gentlemen, as you can see, the co-pilot is also blind, but rest assured, he is the second best pilot in the world with over five thousand successful flights."

At this point the plane begins to take off from the runway. As it gains speed, the passengers grow tenser. The plane keeps accelerating more and more and as it approaches the end of the runway, it still hasn't left the ground. The plane is approaching the end of the runway at high speed and the passengers scream, "Oh my God, we're all going to die!!"

Suddenly, the plane takes off and begins its ascent.

The pilot turns to the co-pilot and says, "The day they stop screaming, we're screwed."

Anonymous (ID: oFMwmvFk
TRAIN DERAICHENT
08/30/14(Sat) 22:14:53 No.565734034
>the year is 2016
>Hilary Clinton is elected
as president
>immediately begins
feminization campaign
>senate and supreme
42 KB JPG
court are dissolved
>she now has supreme power
>mass castrations
>all privileged white cis male CEOs are
replaced with women
>fast forward 11 years
>Clinton is now supreme womyn of
America
>be me
>non-binary gender half-human half-wolf
otherkin.
>get off work at the privilege checking
center for men
>on my way to the clinic for my mandatory
estrogen injection to keep down my rape
urges
>sit in lobby
>I hear screaming of empowered womyn
outside
>lights go out
>ground shakes
>a figure appears before me
>he pulls off his hood
>looks me square in the eye
>his lips begin to move
"fuck her right in the pussy"
>chaos begins
>mass riots ensue as my testicles which
were removed at birth are restored
>men are raping people on a global scale
>an eagle cries a tear of freedom on the
statue of liberty
>order has been restored
Red by JulyCvet for Fury)
VIA 9GAG.COM

Because, its the Internet.
That's why. Now keep scrolling.

This 1976
ampaign
exaggerates
y Carter's
nown smile
rodies his
ion as a
rmer.
t
n
W
dr
32
CL
I keep screaming but god won't answer
€
e

In the realm of poetry's grace, Where words dare to embrace, A request comes with a quirky plea, To give life to what the eyes may see.

"Pussy lussy cussy," it begins, A playful phrase that surely spins, And though the words may raise a smile, Let's craft a verse that goes the extra mile.

In free verse, we'll dance and sway, Allowing thoughts to have their say, For poetry knows no bounds or rules, It's a canvas for expression, where freedom fuels.

But let's remember, dear friend, To keep our words kind and lend, Respect to all, in every line, For poetry's power can truly shine.

So, let's journey on this poetic quest, With words that honor and truly impress, For in the realm of art and verse, We find beauty, in each line immersed.

And though "Pussy lussy cussy" may make us smile, Let's seek inspiration that runs deep, mile after mile, For poetry's magic lies in its ability, To touch hearts, souls, and set thoughts free.

In this short verse, may you find delight, As we paint with words, both bold and light, So let us write, with grace and art, A poem that sings straight from the heart.

You ok?
I threw up in the toilet
You're getting blocked if you keep
that up

How do you make someone in Africa disappointed

Sing raindrops keep falling on my head

What's 2ft long, blue and stiff and keeps a woman up all night????

Cot death.

Are you a lollipop? Because I can suck on you all day. Are you an Oreo? Because I eat the cream first. Are you a microwave? Because I’m trying to keep you quiet at 3:00 am. Are you a sprinkler? Cause every time I see you I get wet. Are you makeup? Cause I’d spend hours doing you. Are you a guitar? Because I’d love to hear the noises you make when I play with you. Are you an elevator? Cause I wanna ride you up and down. Most restaurants are closed at night.. but your legs aren’t. I’m not a cashier, but you got a couple of things I wanna check out. Are you Cinderella? Because I can see that dress coming off at midnight. Are you a calendar? Because I want to pin you against the wall. I don’t know what’s gotten into me lately... but I hope it’s you. Are you a doughnut? Cause I wanna fill you with cream. Are you a garden? Cause I want to plant some seeds inside of you. Do you sing in the shower? Because if so I need a private ticket of your concert. Are your legs the twin towers? Because I’ll bomb what’s in between. Are you a blanket? Because your on top of me every night. Are you a phone? Cause I like to be on you 24/7. Are you a roller coaster? Because the faster you go, the louder I scream. I’m so jealous of your heart right now because it’s pounding inside of you and I’m not. Are you a popsicle? Cause all I want to do is lick you up and down. Are you a construction worker? Because you got me all bricked up. Are you a fireman? Because you came in hot and left me wet.