Why did the cliff feel offended? Because George jumped OFF. ENDED his life. (I’m sorry…No I’m not)

Q : What’s the similarity between a dog and a bed?

A : I can jump on my bed. A : And I use a pillow on both of them.

friend 1: I don’t want to jump. friend 2: me neither .murderer: if you don’t jump ill stab you. friend 1: jumps. friend 2: jumps. murderer. i didn’t mean off the building friend 1: I know that i just pretended to jump to get rid of that guy

What did the kangaroo 🦘 bring to the cook out?

A jump rope!

Kat what I did a cat jump over the road because he believes he came flying in the clouds Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Hah Hah Hah Hah Hah Hah Hah Hah Hah Hah Hah Hah Hah Hah Hah Hah Hah Hah Hah so funniest kitten kitten kitten kidding is my last time ofDo you Joooooooooooooooooooooookin

YO MAMA SO FAT, NASA USED HER STOMACH TO JUMP TO URANUS IN SECONDS . 🍐🍆

Which way did the cow jump over the moon?

  • The MILKY way!!!

What did the cookie say when he jumped off the cliff? Crumbs ha ha!

your forhead is so big you can jump without getting hurt

Chesley, in horror, runs out of the cockpit of the plane coming from London, "I’m so very sorry everyone, I punch the wrong buttons and we are heading to DC instead of New York and we are about to run out of fuel. He opens the door and turns around to the five passengers and exclaimed, “I’ve parachutes but miscounted. We only got four for the passengers.” He jumps off.

Donald faced the other four and orders:

“I’m the greatest leader of the world and I’ll make the decision. Tony you go first, our country needs you. The whole wide world needs you. Pandemic is raging.” Tony jumps off.

Francis,my friend, you go next, pandemic is ravaging the mind and body of millions. Their soul needs saving. Save Vladimir’s and Xi’s for me." Francis jumps off.

Hillary faced faced Donald furiously. “Who are you to make decisions for us? I should have been president. I’m the smartest woman in the whole world in history.” Hillary jumps off.

Donald gazed at the young woman and started talking: “I’m an old man. I have already lived a full life - beautiful wives, children just a beautiful life. Just beautiful. I’ve become president of the most powerful country, the most beautiful, the richest. Regrets? I’ve made a few but did it my way. Greta, go on. Your future is bright. I just wish I can make my country great again and have the chance to help save the world with you. I believe in second chances. Look at my bankruptcies, believe me. And I wish I’ve played more golf and …”

Greta interrjected, “Just shut the f* up. The plane is about to crash. Let’s go and save the world. The smartest woman in history took my backpack!”

Jay and Andrew, are best friends whom are almost alike, the difference between them both is Jay is poor and well…Andrew on the other hand is suck-a-dick-poor. Let me explain, Jay wakes-up in his room, walks to the kitchen and asks his mom Lisa (I call her Lisa now btw) if there is anything to eat, “No bitch !” She replies, so Jay drinks a glass of milk and goes back to bed. Now Andrew…wakes-up jumps out of bed and he’s in the kitchen, he sees his mom fixing some for work, after a long hard night of giving her husband blue-balls, “Anything left for me Mother?” Andrew asks “Sorry Honey, I have to eat to put food on the table and to get the running again.” *so she goes to work taking her time * Andrew sits by his bedside and says to himself “Man…I’d suck a dick for some water right now.” his mom storms back after hearing what he had said "I’ll buy you a soda if u do my first customer for me!!! "

Why do female para-chutist’s have to wear tampon’s before they jump ?

So they don’t whistle on the way down !

Scientists say I’m made up of 75% of water

But after jumping in the ocean its 100%just like my depression.

Why are frogs 🐸 good at basketball 🏀?

Because they always make jump shots.

Friend 1:Eyyy gurl Me:Hey! (Fake smile) Friend 2:hey g-guys what 'bout we play would you rather? 6 hours later Friend 2:So (name) would u rather? 1.“Hang” out with me Or 2.“Jump” 1 times? Me…e-eh?..Why not both???we could just "Jump while “Hanging” out right?

What does the cannibal say when he jumps into the pool

CANNONBALL P.s I made this myself

Three copycats on a boat 1 jumps off how many are left? 0 cause they’re copycats

Fuck it suicide is wrong but if you jump off a bridge and yell parkor its a failed stunt

so a man was on a ledge ready to kill himself because he got laid off at work and his girlfriend cheated on him he was about to jump until he saw from a mountain side a little guy with no arms dancing around so he thought maybe my life aint so bad so he went to the mountain side thank you he said i was gonna jump off a bridge and kill myself until i saw you dancing even though youu have no arms dancing? the armless man said bitterly my asshole itches and i cant scratch it

What did the Janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?

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