Jump jokes
A beautiful woman is on the ledge of a bridge about to commit suicide.
A homeless man walks by her and says, "What are you doing?"
She says, "I'm going to jump!"
The homeless man says, "If you're going to kill yourself, do you wanna have sex with me first?"
The woman replies, "No way, creep! Never that!"
The homeless man doesn't seem bothered and says, "That's fine, I'll just wait 'til you're at the bottom."
What is a Mexican's favorite move in a video game?
Wall jumping.
Are you going to jump? Can I jump with you?
What do white people and fences have in common? They both get jumped by Mexicans.
Why did the orphan like to jump? So they can jump off a bridge to be reunited with their parents.
1 like = 10 more orphans in my basement.
Why is September 11th the best birthday ever? No one forgets it :)
I had a friend who was a dwarf. He committed suicide. He jumped off a curb.
My depressed friend said he wanted to jump off of a bridge but he didn’t wanna commit suicide. I told him if you jump and yell "parkour," it’ll just be a failed stunt.
Yo mama so fat, when she jumped, I didn’t laugh, but the floor cracked up.
Fat kid jumps in the pool.
The popular girl: "I thought there was going to be a tsunami."
The fat kid: "I thought trash was not supposed to be in the ocean."
People ask me if my friend jumps off a bridge, will I go as well? Of course not. I am a leader; I will go first, my friend will jump after me!
Who says white people can't jump?
Have you seen the 911 footage?
Once I was riding my bike and saw a $5. I jumped off and died.
Yo mama is so fat, she jumped on a trampoline and she broke it.
Why is the record for longest jump kept by an emo?
They're still hanging.
Cars are like bullets; you jump in front of one, and they solve all your problems.
You was reaching into you’re backpack and the whole class jumped through the window.
Me and my friends jumped some orphans. Who will they tell? Their parents?
My wife is so fat. She jumped up in the air and got stuck.
"Hitler and Goring are standing atop the Berlin radio tower. Hitler says he wants to do something to put a smile on Berliners' faces.
So Goring says: 'Why don't you jump?'"