Joke jokes
There's only 3 types of people: the ones who can count and the ones that can't.
Do you know what the F in orphan is for...
Family.
How do you turn a cat into a fish?
Tell your girl not to wash down there.
Hey, what are those things on your arms? They look like cuts. Wait, what? No, it's just marker. Nothing else...
I can't stand up when I laugh hard; neither can they.
It's way too soon for Kobe jokes.
They never land well.
Why can't orphans have chips? Because it's family size.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange ya glad this isn't another stupid orphan joke that has been posted 10 times before!
What comes to visit more often than your aunt? Your acne.
Tried making jokes about 9/11, but it just kept falling apart.
Mom: It's time for sleep.
Baby: Is that what you think, huh?
Mom: *gives baby pacifier*
Baby: Nice try, hobo.
Mom: Well, I'll come back later to see if he's gone asleep.
*few hours later*
Baby: *still awake*
Mom: Why IS HE NOT ASLEEP?!
Baby: Lol, I told you nice try haha.
When did I wake up?
At the quack of dawn!
Q: Why did the baby cross the road?
A: It wasn't in its car seat.
What do you call someone that looks like Stephen Hawkins and is a space head? Byron Davey.
The QUEEN is JACK! KING off the JOKER!
I know what you're thinking, pervert. Actually, the joke's about a jester in drag. OK, I’m joking, the Queen cheated on the King with the Jester.
Son to mother: "Mom, all the kids in the school are making fun of me because I am still a virgin."
Mother: "Well, start giving them bad grades, and they will stop."
What did the racist Catholic priest say?
"Martin Luther? Not my king!"
Friend: You're adopted.
Orphan: At least I was chosen!
Friend: At least I was kept.
Why can’t Helen Keller jump out of an airplane?
It scares the shit out of her dog.
What are twins’ favorite fruit?
Pairs 🍐.