Oh baby, there's about to be 7 planets because I'm gonna destroy Uranus.
Joke Jokes
What does a grape do if a rhino is about to squash it?
Nothing, it just lets out a little wine.
Q. What sound does a sleeping T-Rex make?
A. A dino-snore.
The first windmill said to the second, "What's your favorite type of music?"
The second windmill said, "I'm a big metal fan!"
A guy walks into a bar. He sees a hot girl. He walks up to her and says, "You're getting laid tonight." She replies, "What are you, some sort of psychic?" He says, "No, I'm just stronger than you."
Q. What monster plays the most April Fools' pranks?
A. Prankenstein.
Q: What breed of dog is supposed to laugh at all of your jokes?
A: A Chihuahua.
Q. What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A. A gummy bear.
A joke: my life, hahahahaha! Wait, it's not funny.
There were 500 bricks on a plane. One fell off.
Little Sally was crossing a river full of crocodiles. How did she survive the river? She had a gun. When she got out of the river, she died. Why? Because a brick fell on her head.
Q: How many dead hookers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Not three. My damn basement is still dark...
When you say to your dad...
AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
Dad be like...
Who wants my son?
Nan be like, "Me!"
Kid be like...
AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH GIVE ME #### ROUX!
What are roux, says nan?
Um, they're your life savings!
Nan be like, "Let's get some roux!"
Do you like me? Joke... Well come on!
BOOMSHACKALATA!
Your life is the joke.
Two Asians walked into a strip club and they went to a cashier. They put in their names: her name was He Gay and his name was Shi A Ho.
These are meannnnn.
"Hippity hoppity, don't abolish my property!"
Q: Wanna hear a bad cat joke?
A: Just kitten!
I'm bone dry in material, but I have a skeleTON of skeleton jokes. After I tell you all these rib ticklers, you will have a bone to pick with if you didn't find that funny, you outta rip my spine out.
What's a skeleton's favorite food?
Spare ribs.
