Joke jokes

You want some dead batteries? They're free of charge.

Wanna hear a paper joke? Nvm, it's terrible.

How do you stop a bull from charging? Cancel its credit card.

My friend David lost his ID.

Now he is just Dav.

Dad: Hey, have you seen that new movie, "Constipation"?

Son: No.

Dad: It hasn't come out yet.

Those were a-mug-zing jokes. They were Mugderful, and Mugjestic.

If you thought other puns were bad, wait till you sea mine.

Hi, here's a joke: You're wasting your time and space, you know it... :D

What did the cow say to the cheese? I am your father.

What do you call a cow that's laying down? Ground Beef.

What is the difference between your new teacher and a train?

Your teacher says, "Spit out your gum," but a train says, "Choo Choo!"

These two cannibals are sitting by the campfire having dinner. One says, "I can't stand my mother-in-law." The other says, "So, just eat the potatoes."

I told my friend that someone accused him of blowing dead bears. I said I defended him by responding that I saw 1 get up and walk away.

Why is Stephen Hawking going to hell?

Because it’s a stairway to heaven, not a ramp.

I got udder jokes too.

Want to hear a joke? It's called life.

I'm so lonely, even the alphabet says "Hi."

JK.

Oh baby, there's about to be 7 planets because I'm gonna destroy Uranus.

What does a grape do if a rhino is about to squash it?

Nothing, it just lets out a little wine.

Q. What sound does a sleeping T-Rex make?

A. A dino-snore.

The first windmill said to the second, "What's your favorite type of music?"

The second windmill said, "I'm a big metal fan!"