Joke jokes

What do you call Hiroshima and Nagasaki?

The world's first microwaves.

I would make a Paul Walker joke, but it would crash and burn.

One day I walk up to an emo kid. I realized he had a fresh cut, so I grab my hand and slap his wrist and told him, "I like ya cut, G!"

I love bullying orphans. Who are they gonna tell? Their parents?

I asked what LGBTQ stands for, and I couldn’t get a straight answer.

My friend said, "Why do you have depression? There is so much happiness in the world." And I said, "Why do you have asthma? There is so much air in the world."

Have you heard about kids with AIDS?

It never gets old.

Teacher: What do you want to be when you grow up?

That depressed kid in class: Dead.

Teacher: What do you want when you grow up?

That depressed kid in class: Dead.

A blonde girl walks into a gym and sees a guy. The guy takes off his shirt, she says, "Oh, what chest!" "That's 100 lbs of dynamite, baby," he replies. Then he takes off his pants, she says, "Oh, what legs!" He says, "That's 100 lbs of dynamite, baby." After that, he took off his underwear. The blonde girl starts running. He catches her and says, "Why were you running?" She said, "I didn't wanna be in there once I've seen how small the fuse was."

A boy walks into class with a shirt, pants, underwear, and socks. The teacher says, "Where have you been?" The boy says, "On a peach hill."

Another boy walks in with a shirt, pants, underwear, and socks. The teacher says, "Where have you been?" The boy says, "On a peach hill."

Then a girl walks in, and the teacher says, "And where on earth have you been?" The girl says, "Well, you see..." Then the teacher stops her and says, "Let me guess, on a peach hill?" The girl says, "No, on 2 big cucumbers."

What did the dick say to the condom?

Cover me, I'm going in. 😚😏

What does one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?

"If we don’t get some support people will think we are ball sacks..."

Q. What makes music on your hair?

A. A headband!

Q. What's the most musical bone?

A. The trom-bone!

Don't make fun of fat people. They already have a lot on their plate.

Why did my mouth say no to butt? Because that would be too much sex.

What’s the difference between a computer and Paul Walker? I give a crap when my computer crashes.

Why can't you kill a depressed person?

Because they are already dead inside.

What did the phone receptionist at the suicide hotline tell the callers?

Hang in there!