Joke jokes
Why did the deer cross the road? Its friends deered it to.
Why do horny, deaf girls wear tight pants?
So you can read her lips.
Why is it hard to break up with a Japanese girl?
Because you have to drop the bomb twice for her to get it.
What do you call a kid in a wheelchair that you push in a fire? Hot Wheels.
I wanted to make a joke about homework, but sadly, I'm an orphan.
Why was the snowman looking through a bag of carrots?
He was picking his nose.
Is your hairline a time traveler, because it went way back?
When someone saw your hairline, they thought it was a Dorito logo.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Who.
Who who.
It is an owl!
I was in Russia listening to a stand-up comedian making fun of Putin.
The jokes weren't that good, but I liked the execution.
What did the North Tower say to the South Tower in summer?
"Are you ready for fall?"
Hellen Keller went to go grab her bouncy balls.
Man: Ouch!
Not a joke, but this needs saying. Please can someone do something about all the pedo posts on here. It’s honestly just nasty.
What the hell dam, hell dam?
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
7 was a registered sex offender.
Why is it easy to defeat America in Clash of Clans?
Because they have already got 2 towers down.
What's white, sticky, and better to spit out then to swallow?
Toothpaste.
How to harass? Say it out loud but slowly. Split that word into, and it sounds like "her ass."
I still remember the last thing my grandfather said before kicking the bucket: "Hey, wanna see how far I can kick this bucket?"
I can swallow two pieces of string and when they come out the other end, they'll be tied together. I shit you knot.