Your hairline is so far back that I can't even back out of my car.
Joke Jokes
What is an orphan's most hated baseball team? The Padres.
It was raining sadly all day. My wife, my two daughters, and me were stuck in the house when wife’s mom and dad just died.
Wife: 😭😭😭I wish this never happened.
Mia, our first daughter: Mommy, it’s ok. I love whenever I see you🥰🥰
Abby, our second daughter: I love you all. Only if you guys die I won’t, but I love you when you're alive 😉😏
Me, husband: What kind of nonsense was that? You love us when we’re alive, but you don’t love us when we’re dead🤥😥😓
Everyone except Abby: Abby, this is serious. Mommy’s mother and father died. Mia says: Yes, your mom is sadly down right now, you made her more sad😡🤬. Dad says: *sniffs* Abby, I had made a discussion. I will take you to an orphanage. I am sorry 😣 when I am better and happy and I forgot what you said then we’ll get you back. Mom says:
This was not a joke. I just did this for Love 💕
Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to help her check her balance.
So I pushed her over.
My Dad: Son, history always repeats itself.
Me: So you're gonna leave me again?
Jack and Jill went up the hill to go and swim in some shit. Jack forgot to bring some goggles and floaty, and now they have a daughter.
Secret: Jill didn’t go in the shit yet. Jack went in first and died! :D
What do you call a guy with a long chin?
Chino-Chinese
Jack and Jill went up the hill so they can fetch some pee. Jack fell down and broke his whole body. Jill just laughed and didn’t care, so now they have a daughter.
I think your hairline might have the hiccups.
Answer to it: You might have to give it a wash in the shower.
I bet your hairline goes inside your private part, and your girlfriend can’t even touch it.
An emo went to high five a tree, and it left them hanging.
Mia’s mother has 5 kids: Lilly, Abby, Alexa, Mila, and.... Q: Who is last? A: Mia.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Little old lady. Little old lady who? Little old lady, you don’t need to yodel about it!
We need skinwalker jokes.
What do you call a rich orphan?
Batman.
What is Michael Jackson's favorite drink? Tea-hee-hee!
What does a cannibal call a pregnant woman?
A kinder surprise.
Did you hear about the blonde who walked into a bar?......... It hurt.
What's the difference between economy and Vietnamese?
Economy doesn't work.
What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?
Frostbite.
I always ask gay people what LGBTQ means, but I never get a straight answer.
