Joke jokes
What did the fish say when it swam into a wall?
Dam.
I asked my rigger buddy if he could tie me up later, he said, "I'm a frayed knot."
Two guys are on the playground. One guy says to the other, "Did you know that Hellen Keller had a playground in her backyard?" The other guy said, "No." The first guy says, "Neither did she."
All jokes are funny with the correct delivery. Except for abortion jokes, there is no delivery.
What did the cholo say when the house fell on him?
"Get off me, homes!"
Why did the skeleton go to the movies by himself?
He had no body to go with.
The homophobes writing these jokes.
What did the house painter ask when he went to the abortion clinic?
"Where do you keep the cans of paint?"
So Helen Keller walked into a bar, then a stool, then a table, then a door...
Dark Humor is like a child with cancer. It never gets old.
Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.
Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.
What first went through Sally's head when the Nazis came? A bullet.
Where did Sally go when the bomb exploded? Everywhere.
What did Sally get for Christmas? A bike.
What do you call a pen with no head?
DeCAPitated.
A man walks into a bar and notices a steak hanging from the ceiling. When he asks the bartender about it, the bartender says, "If you can jump up and hit it, drinks are on the house for the night, but if you miss, everyone's drinks are on your tab for the next two hours. Do you want to try?" The man decided not to take the risk. He thought the steaks were too high.
Why would hunting a bald eagle in America be a bad idea?
Because it's ill-eagle.
What's 6ft long, red, and my girlfriend cries when I feed it to her?
A miscarriage.
Why did the blind man fall down the well?
He just couldn't see that well.
A German soldier is walking down the street during a hail storm when a lady suddenly falls over after being hit. He, along with a few others, walk over to her. One man asks, "What happened?" and the soldier replies, "Hail hit her."
I entered ten puns into a contest to see which one would win.
No pun in ten did.
Where do mathematicians go to die?
The symmetry.
One time Chuck Norris peed in the gas tank of a semi truck as a practical joke. That truck is now known as Optimus Prime.