Joke jokes

My jokes are cancer.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Who gives a shit? I wanna know how it got the car started!

Are you guys alright?

If you answered yes then you are wrong. You are all LEFT. Kill me, hmph.

(This joke was taken from that none funny b*tch on Britain's Got Talent)

Why did Vladimir Putin get bad grades? -- Because he was Russian.

What is a pirate's favorite letter? You might think it’s the "R," but it’s actually the "C".

What did John Cena say to the blind man? "YOU CAN'T SEE ME!"

I'm not lazy, I'm just bone tired. I bet that one tickled your funny bone. It sure got me rattled. Don't try to stop me. I've got a skele-ton of these!

What's the difference between a feminist and a suicide vest?

At least one does something when it is triggered.

A man tried to attack me with milk and cheese—how dairy!

Wanna hear a dry joke? A desert.

I tried writing with a dull pencil the other day, but there was no point.

Was gonna make a gay joke but fuck... Cum on guys.

What do women and peanut butter have in common?

They're both easy to spread.

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Nothing, because numbers don’t have consciences.

What do you call a priest that is a furry?

A Catholic.

Give a man a fish, feed him for a day.

Give a man a poison fish, feed him for a lifetime.

What do you call an asian kid who's bad at math?

An orphan.

50 Thumbs up for 10 jokes you ́ve never seen!

Some people ask why jokes exist. I say, when a mommy and daddy love each other very much, they have sex, and they make another one of you.

What do you call a man with no body and no nose?

Nobody nose.